【ENG】被 HURRICANE 淋湿的人/Let It Go Too Far (220925/番外1+2+3)

scarlettclouds

好家伙太励志了为了文学英语

如沐晨光

谢谢更新，看见英文还恍惚了

DefyingGravity

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sedentiment

Another gig at the Bourbon Room. Stacee was singing the hit single from the new album. The crowd looked to be a decent size, even if it was blurred at the edges, hard for him to focus on. But the crowd didn’t matter when the only person he needed to see was Antonio standing at the front, so much open admiration and love in his eyes that Stacee felt his own face burning.

He leaned into the mic and opened his mouth to sing the next line, but his lips couldn't seem to form the words, and his throat closed. Though the lyrics rang clear in his head and he could even see the words written in his own handwriting in his notebook, only choked half-sobs came out.

The crowd grew restless, angry jeers raining at him from all directions. He could hear Zach lecturing from behind him, Joey’s complaining, Andrea’s disappointed sigh.

But Antonio just looked at him, the sheer grief on his face lodging deep and splintering in Stacee’s heart.

“Stacee, say the next line. Please, say it for me.”

“I can’t,” he gasped.

“But you know it.”

He tried again, so hard his throat felt like it would tear from the strain, but now even his sobs were soundless.

“I can’t,” he mouthed.

There were tears pooling in Antonio’s eyes, spilling out over his high cheekbones, and every drop that fell burned a hole through Stacee’s chest. He threw aside his guitar, ignoring how it clattered on the ground as he scrambled to reach out for him, but he tripped on the cables onstage, and as he fought to free himself, Antonio disappeared into the crowd.

His limbs felt so heavy, and it was so tempting to just lie still beneath the weight of the cables, but now the crowd was dispersing, and any chance of finding Antonio would be lost forever once they were all gone.

He screamed at the top of his lungs, yet still no sound came out. He was wrong – the words he needed to say weren’t the lyrics in his notebook at all. He had never written them down, had never dared to put them into any of his songs, had been scared to even think them.

The bar emptied, the lights went out, and his bandmates stepped over the cables entangling him as they too finally left.

It was only then, alone in the darkness, that Stacee could whisper the words he couldn’t get out when he needed to.

I love you.

But Antonio, you couldn’t say it to me either.



“There’s someone here to see you.”

Stacee started awake at the guard’s voice, his back chilly with cold sweat and his face hot with tears.

“Visiting hours end soon, so make it quick.”

Maybe he hadn’t quite awoken from his dream, because for an instant, he suddenly imagined that Antonio had heard him in the end and that he would be there waiting for him in the visitor’s room. His whole body ached, twinging with the terrible gleam of anticipation and hope despite knowing it was impossible, that he had failed to reach him even in his dream, let alone in real life.

Of course, it was just his attorney on the other side of the plexiglass.

“Hi Stacee. I didn’t want to end the day without checking in on you one last time. How are you holding up?” Mia asked, professional yet warm, though Stacee had no desire to respond to that warmth. Just keeping his voice steady was enough of a struggle.

“Fine as can be. Not like there’s much to do in here anyway.” Nothing to do but stew in his thoughts for the past two weeks, reliving each and every one of his personal failings in his head.

“Hold on just a bit longer. We’re getting you out of here soon enough.”

Stacee scoffed, though there was no heat behind it. “That confident, huh? And here I thought my case was hopeless.”

“I still have a few more loose ends to tie up before the night is through, but you’re innocent, Stacee, and it’s my job to prove that to everyone. And I’m very good at my job.”

Stacee shrugged. He had no interest in getting friendly with Mia, but there was no need to antagonize her either. He duly answered whatever questions she had, stuff about contracts from way back that he couldn’t begin to imagine the relevance of. He never would understand lawyers.

Recalling the past was exhausting, especially in his current situation, and thankfully visiting hours ended soon enough. Mia reassured him again that everything would be all right, and Stacee managed to fake a decent-enough smile that she finally left him alone.

Alone at last. Now more than ever, Stacee knew that to be the truth of his life. Though he hadn’t had the willpower to focus on everything or even most of what Mia was saying, he got the gist that his former bandmates would be taking the stand, probably testifying as to why he was a murderer and why he always had it coming.

Well, never let it be said that Stacee Jaxx didn’t know how to end things on a dramatic note. At least this would be a flashy pyre for his friendships, reaping the harvest of resentment he had sown over the years. He hadn’t had much access to the outside world for the past two weeks, but he could imagine how the tabloids were gobbling every last detail up. Come to think of it, it probably wasn’t just the tabloids – maybe even the major news publications had picked up the story. The kind of respectable newspapers that Antonio might skim over breakfast.

Antonio must know about his murder charges by now. He found himself desperately hoping that Antonio believed every word of the accusations. Let him believe that he had dodged a bullet with Stacee, let there be no space for any regret or lingering feelings that Stacee tried to pretend he didn’t know might still be festering in Antonio’s heart, let him fade from a painful memory to a funny anecdote that he could tell one day to spice up conversations at dinner parties.

The face of the last man he had seen with Antonio in the videos floated involuntarily into his mind’s eye yet again. When he wasn’t berating himself for all his mistakes that had led him to this point, rightfully abandoned by everyone that might have cared about him if he didn’t have to make himself so damn unlovable, he was driving himself insane imagining Antonio with that man. As much of a torment as it was to think of him in some other man’s arms, Stacee honestly hoped that he was and that he was happy, happier than Stacee could ever make him.

He still couldn’t shake the image from his dream of Antonio’s tears, the same expression that had been on his face their last night together. Hadn’t he resolved once to drive away all Antonio’s tears of sadness?

He should stop thinking about Antonio. Stacee was nothing more than a glitch in his life, a momentary madness, and someone as lovable and good as Antonio would be fine in the end. Stacee could just picture how Antonio might tell the story someday, maybe even at his wedding to that man.

“A long time ago, I was seeing a rock star. Just a casual thing. You might not have heard of him, or maybe you remember a high-profile murder case a while ago. Goes to show you should never let in uninvited guests. If only I had called security back then at Bas’s wedding.”



Yes, that would be for the best, Antonio moving on with his life and Stacee, well, Stacee’s fate would be decided tomorrow.

He truly didn’t think he had killed Steve. Stacee was a shitty person, sure, but he knew that there were lines he would never cross, however inebriated he might have been that night. Still, there was a blank in his memory shortly after going into that backroom, and all the evidence did seem to point to him. He didn't think he had done it, but if it turned out that the unthinkable was true, that he really was beyond redemption, well, perhaps it would be for the best for him to be put away where no one would miss him.

It didn’t matter in the end. Stacee was tired, so tired of struggling and fighting, and whatever happened tomorrow he would quietly accept.

-

“The court is in session for the trial of Mr. Stanford Jiang.”

Stacee watched without much interest as the judge began proceedings. Mia had explained to him that he wouldn't need to say anything, as he wouldn’t be called to testify against himself. His only job today was to sit and look innocent, and for once, Stacee had no issue with not being the center of the show.

“The defense pleads not guilty.”

As Mia launched into her opening statements, Stacee’s gaze wandered idly around the courtroom, landing on his former bandmates waiting in the wings. He almost didn't recognize Zach in his neat button-down shirt, though Joey and Andrea were dressed like they had just rolled out of rehearsal. Seated not too far from them were Dennis and Lonny.

He dropped his gaze quickly before any of them could make eye contact.

“The prosecution calls Mr. Zachary Todd as the first witness. Mr. Todd is the drummer of the band Arsenal. While he was not present during the crime itself, his testimony will provide context for the events preceding the murder that night.”

He had known this moment was coming, but that didn't make it sting any less when Zach stood up to take the stand.

“I’ve known Stacee for almost ten years. I never would have thought he could do something like this.” Zach paused, furrowing his brow. “I’m sorry, this is rather difficult for me.”

“Take your time, Mr. Todd. We all appreciate your commitment to the truth in this difficult situation,” said the prosecutor.

“Thank you.” Maybe Stacee was imagining it, but Zach made a big production out of clearing his throat and wiping at his eyes before continuing. “Steve had told me a few days earlier that he called Stacee over to the Bourbon Room to discuss the ongoing lawsuit. He hadn’t totally given up on Stacee yet – he thought that Stacee quitting the band was just him throwing another one of his typical tantrums, and we could all avoid a lot of litigation if Stacee would just rejoin the band and finish up our record contract. Anyway, I suggested that the band could talk with Stacee before that, soften him up a bit, since he had been holding a grudge against Steve for a while.”

Stacee supposed his behavior must have looked like a tantrum. That was a more palatable explanation to the public than the nameless fear that had gripped him, made him push away everything he cared about in his panicked flailing.

“Can you elaborate on this grudge Mr. Jiang had against Mr. Vincent?” asked the prosecutor.

Zach sighed, unusually heavily in Stacee’s opinion. “I didn’t think it would become such a big deal. We have all known each other for years, like I said. But I guess once money is involved, things really can get ugly. A few months ago, Stacee started complaining about some details of the contract for our first single. It’s not like the text ever changed, but maybe Stacee just finally got around to reading it. He felt the terms were unfair to him, and it became a major sticking point between him and Steve. He even put off working on the album because of it.”

“Were the terms unfair, in your opinion?” Mia finally spoke up.

“If they were, Stacee should have noticed back when we signed. Of course, his head was always in the clouds – he couldn’t be bothered with things like paperwork.”

“So you’re saying he didn’t carefully examine the contract at the time?”

“No, he left that kind of menial work to me. I mean, the terms were different from what would be fair for us now that we’re established, but we were just starting out. We took what we could get.”

Funny how the story changed on retelling, Stacee thought with some bitterness. Zach had been happy enough to take care of things back then. He had even encouraged Stacee to leave the details to him and focus on making the best art he could.

“Mr. Todd, do you think this grudge Mr. Jiang held was serious enough to motivate him to murder Mr. Vincent?” the prosecutor asked.

“I don’t know. It’s hard to think of Stacee planning a murder in cold blood like that. But he does have his temper. Maybe, I don’t know, in the heat of the moment, his anger overcame him...”

“Objection,” Mia cut in coolly. “This is mere speculation.”

“Is it?” the prosecutor shot back. “Mr. Todd has known the defendant for years, and his so-called speculation is surely based on knowing his character deeply. If he thinks the defendant did it and had a motive to do it, that’s significant evidence. Mr. Todd, is that what you think?”

“Objection overruled,” the judge said over Mia’s protests. “Mr. Todd, you may answer the prosecution’s question.”

Zach frowned in silence for a long moment, then said, “Yes.”

The iron certainty in that single word dropped the pit out of Stacee’s stomach.

“Mr. Todd, please proceed with describing the events of that night.”

“All right. Steve had arranged to meet with Stacee at 10 PM, so I asked Stacee to come to the club an hour earlier at 9 PM to talk with Joey, Andrea, and me first. I told him there was still a lot of business to settle between us.”

Stacee remembered that call. He had been drunk enough to pick up the phone when he saw Zach’s number flash across his screen instead of rejecting the call outright. That night he had been feeling lonelier than usual, so lonely that the thought of seeing his old bandmates and friends brought more comfort than anxiety. Zach had gone on about the complexities of splitting royalties from their old songs, but Stacee hadn’t absorbed any of the details, just hung on to the familiarity of his voice.

“I wasn’t sure if Stacee would actually follow through even though he agreed to meet us, so I sent a car that night to pick him up from his house. Good thing too, because he was already drunk before our meeting.”

That was a bit different than how Stacee had remembered it. He had actually stopped himself after a beer or two at home that evening, thinking that while he wasn’t going to be convinced that easily by whatever they had to say, that everything was already too far gone to ever be put back together again, he would at least hear them out, and he did need to be somewhat coherent for that.

Then again, he had ended up blacking out that night. He couldn’t remember how much he had drunk at the Bourbon Room, but it must have been too much. Perhaps he didn’t know his own limits as well as he thought he did. That had turned out to be true for more than just alcohol in his life.

“And so we met with Stacee at 9, but not much actual discussion happened. He ranted a bit about how Arsenal was over, and after that, he was too incoherent to talk to. Maybe we should have sent him home at that point, but I admit I was too frustrated to do much else besides ask a bouncer to make sure he got to his meeting with Steve.” Zach sighed. “How I regret that now.”

Stacee did remember the bouncer shaking him awake when it was time to go into the backroom, if only because it was the same man who had brought him the security tapes of Antonio. He really should have told Dennis to watch out for that guy.

“And you left the bar then?” Mia asked.

“That’s right. I went straight home.”

“Thank you, Mr. Todd. The prosecution has no further questions at the moment.”

“The defense has no objections.”

“Are you certain you don’t want to change your plea to guilty under the influence, Ms. Fey? Even though the defendant does have a clear motive established, you can always argue that he didn’t form intent until he was intoxicated. Might lead to a lighter sentence.”

“I’d hardly call speculation from one witness an established motive. Call your next witness, please.”

“Very well. The prosecution calls Mr. Dennis Dupree to the stand. Mr. Dupree is the owner of the Bourbon Room and was present at the scene of the crime.”

Dennis had the gall to shoot Stacee a somewhat apologetic look before diving into his testimony. Surprising, as Stacee didn’t think they had been on good terms for a while even before everything went down. But Dennis always was secretly the sentimental type.

“I’ve known Stacee and the rest of the band a long time too, almost ever since I opened the Bourbon Room about seven years ago. We got our start together, with the band playing a lot of their first gigs in my club when we just opened, so I guess it felt pretty natural for them to want to meet there about business. There’s a large backroom in the bar that doubles as a storage space and a private meeting space for VIPs.”

“And the only way in or out of that room is through the doors connecting it to the main bar?” asked the prosecutor.

“That’s right. The doors are behind the counter of the VIP bar area. It’s kind of an odd room – no windows or anything because it slopes to sit halfway underground, almost like a basement. I inherited the layout from the previous owners – I’d never design anything like that myself. Believe me, it’s a pain to carry kegs up and down the slope. I also never got around to installing security cameras in there like the rest of the bar, since it’s an older structure and retrofitting the wiring was too much trouble. Besides, I only let customers I’m pretty familiar with rent it out. Anyways, I got to the bar that night around 9:50. I normally don’t come in on Thursdays, but only I keep the keys to that room, and Steve had reserved it beforehand. If I were there earlier, I would have told the bartenders to lay off serving Stacee so much. Or at all.”

“Speculation about what you should have done is not necessary at this point, Mr. Dupree.” the prosecutor cut him off.

“Right, sorry. Anyway, I saw Stacee sitting in the VIP bar area already, looking kind of out of it, but he managed to get himself into the meeting room on his own, so I didn’t think about it much further. Steve got there right about 10, and I closed the doors after them so they could discuss business in private. I was busy organizing the nearest bar cabinet in the meantime. Everything seemed to be going fine until about twenty minutes later, when I heard a loud bang coming from inside. It sounded like a metal object hitting the floor or something. The doors are pretty soundproof normally, so it must have been a really heavy impact for me to hear it from outside the room.”

“And you went to open the doors at that point?” the prosecutor asked.

“Not until I heard a few more loud bangs. Then I thought something might have happened, so I opened the doors only to see, well, the crime scene.” Dennis shuddered, and Stacee was suddenly glad that he had been unconscious at the time. As many problems as he had with Steve, his sudden death weighed heavy on Stacee’s chest, and he couldn’t stomach the thought of seeing him in that state. “Steve was dead, Stacee was lying unconscious nearby, and there was a dented-looking barstool not far from him. I called the police at that point and didn’t get any closer.”

“Thank you, Mr. Dupree. The prosecution posits that the barstool was the murder weapon, as Mr. Jiang’s fingerprints were found all over the legs and traces of Mr. Vincent’s blood were found on the seat. Mr. Dupree heard the sounds of the struggle as Mr. Jiang attacked Mr. Vincent with the barstool. Mr. Vincent managed to deal a return blow that left Mr. Jiang unconscious before succumbing to his own wounds.”

“Objection!” Mia cut through the prosecution. “The autopsy report states that Mr. Vincent died of a single blunt-force blow to the back of the head. How was he able to strike back at Mr. Jiang after sustaining a fatal blow? Furthermore, why did Mr. Dupree hear what sounded like a prolonged struggle when both men were struck once to the head, as per Mr. Jiang’s hospital report?”

“Surely Mr. Jiang, in his drunken state that Mr. Todd already testified to, swung and missed a few times before dealing the fatal blow. Mr. Dupree heard the sound of metal hitting concrete, after all. And Mr. Jiang may not have passed out immediately after his injury.”

“So you’re saying Mr. Vincent wasn’t able to dodge the movements of someone as deeply intoxicated as Mr. Jiang? I find that hard to believe. Moreover, if Mr. Vincent was fighting back against Mr. Jiang, why did he sustain the fatal blow to the back and not the front of his head?”

“Well,” the prosecution started to get a bit flustered. In spite of himself, Stacee sat up a bit straighter to watch. Mia hadn’t lied – she was good at her job. “Perhaps the angle of the barstool, er, if you look at the design of the seat, that is! If Mr. Jiang grabbed the stool by the legs and swung it in an arc over Mr. Vincent’s head, the metal underside of the seat could have impacted the back of his head.”

“Mr. Jiang would have to be strong indeed for a blow at such an awkward angle to have enough force to kill.”

“In any event, your nitpicking is meaningless against the broader facts of the case. You can question the details all you like, Ms. Fey, but your objections don’t count for anything when the fact remains that only Mr. Vincent and Mr. Jiang were present in that room, and some kind of altercation clearly took place. Unless you can pull some other mystery perpetrator out of thin air?”

“What about the unidentified bloodstains found on the floor that weren’t a DNA match for the victim or the defendant? What’s the prosecution’s explanation for that?”

“The samples must have degraded. These things happen.”

“Furthermore, does the prosecution have any explanation for the analysis I requested of Stacee’s drink glass that was found at the scene? The initial police investigation missed that detail, or maybe it didn’t fit into their narrative, but testing found traces of a heavy sedative. It’s highly likely Stacee was drugged.”

Shit. That would explain the blackout. He knew he didn’t drink that much after all.

“Whatever your theories, Ms. Fey, no one thought to test Mr. Jiang for sedatives after his arrest, so this is all just your conjecture.”

“That’s a rather large hole in the prosecution’s theory. The defense maintains that Mr. Jiang was unconscious due to being drugged, and the third party on the scene was the actual perpetrator. No further questions for Mr. Dupree.”

“Very well. The prosecution will call the next witness, Mr. Joseph Flores, the rhythm guitarist of Arsenal.”

Stacee braced himself against the flood that was sure to come as Joey took the stand. Joey must have been waiting for the chance to finally air all their dirty laundry, and even though Stacee supposed he did deserve a lot of it, it was still going to sting.

“Yes, I was there at the meeting, same as Zach. I left the same time he did. Only Andrea might have stayed behind a bit longer. Anyway, they told me I don’t need to talk about that since Zach had it covered. Pretty much what he said already,” Joey said.

“That’s right, Mr. Flores. The prosecution would like you to testify as to the defendant’s character. You were involved in a violent altercation with him not too long ago, as I understand it?”

Stacee looked down at his hands, still cursing the impulsive punch he had landed on Joey that day. They had always been something like rivals that needed to butt against each other for the flint to spark, but he had crossed a line, however cruel Joey’s comments about Antonio might have been. How he wished he could take it back.

“I know you’re all just waiting for me to say what a monster Stacee was this whole time, aren’t you? Well, sorry to disappoint all you vultures hanging around, ‘cause that’s not happening. Violent altercation, my ass. Stacee doesn’t have the balls for that. He just got in one measly hit before I got him back, and I’ve got a much stronger punch than him. And you know what? I deserved it that time. I was being an asshole.”

Stacee’s jaw dropped open as he gaped at Joey, all attempts at avoiding eye contact forgotten. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“I’m man enough to admit when I’ve been an asshole, what about it? But you know what? That was the first time in almost ten years that Stacee ever hit me, and honestly, far from the first time I deserved it. We’ve had no shortage of being assholes to each other. Yeah, he can be a total fucking prick, but Stacee’s not violent. You know how rare that is between members of a rock band who argue as much as we do? And you know what else? I don’t think he did it. Like I said, he doesn’t have the balls. And, well, that’s not who he is. He’s shitty, but fuck, at the end of the day, he’s not a bad person.”

“That’s quite enough from this witness,” the prosecutor said.

“Thank you, Mr. Flores. The defense has no questions at this time.” Mia’s lips briefly tightened with the slightest of smiles.

Joey turned to look directly back at Stacee, meeting him square in the eyes, his expression resolute, and he simply nodded at him as he left the witness stand.

Stacee had to look down at his lap again because his vision was starting to blur with tears.

Maybe he wasn’t the only one who missed the friendship they had once shared. But despite how twisted up their relationship had become over the years, Joey had still stood up for him, still believed in him in the end. Maybe things weren’t as beyond repair as Stacee had thought.

He still hadn’t adjusted to the foreign feeling of hope that stirred in his chest when Andrea got up next.

“What does this witness have to testify about? Another dubious testament to Mr. Jiang’s character? You’re wasting our time, Ms. Fey,” said the prosecutor. “For the record, the prosecution didn’t think this witness was necessary.”

“Ms. Andrea Lee will describe the events at the club after the other two witnesses left. We have a duty to hear every detail of the truth, especially given the contradictions of the crime scene as you’ve portrayed it so far.”

“Hey, I didn’t want to be here originally, so Stacee, you’d better appreciate this.” Andrea glared over at Stacee, who could only weakly nod in return, overcome with sudden emotion. “All right, so after Zach and Joey stormed off, I hung around for a bit longer, maybe about five minutes or so, trying to talk to Stacee. But he just kept going on about how things were ruined and couldn’t be fixed, blah blah. It’s hard to get through to him when he’s determined to be miserable like that, and even more so when he’s that drunk. Although I guess now the lawyer’s saying he was drugged or something? Can’t blame him too much then. Anyway, so after I finally gave up, I went to go drive home. That was maybe around 9:20? Don’t worry, before you legal types freak out – I was feeling so shitty about the whole thing I didn’t even drink that night, ok? I passed by the Venus Club nearby, and well,” Andrea hesitated, looking uncommonly unsure of herself. “I saw Zach going in.”

“Objection! Why is this relevant?” asked the prosecutor. “This has nothing to do with the actual crime.”

“During the course of my investigation and thanks to Ms. Lee’s statements to me earlier, I discovered some details about the club that could potentially connect it to the case, perhaps even explain some of the inconsistencies I pointed out,” Mia replied.

“Objection overruled. Please, Ms. Lee, continue,” the judge said.

Stacee almost missed the look of fury that flashed across Zach’s face before his expression smoothed back into careful neutrality.

“Well, I rolled down my window and hollered at him, and he just gave me the finger and went in. Later, he did ask me not to mention it, since his girlfriend was mad at him for visiting the club earlier. Sorry, Zach. But if you’re gonna make me choose between keeping your girl happy and Stacee walking free, well, it’s not much of a choice really.”

“I fail to see the relevance of Mr. Todd’s personal life to this case,” said the prosecutor.

“Yet he concealed information in his testimony. Perjury is a crime, Mr. Todd. Perhaps understandable given the circumstances, but you should clarify for the court.”

The judge’s gavel stopped the prosecutor’s further objections. “Mr. Todd, please correct your testimony.”

Zach was all composed calm as he returned to the stand. “I don’t know what the defense is trying to pull, but fine, yes. I went into the Venus Club after leaving the Bourbon Room. What of it?”

“Why did you go there after your meeting?” Mia opened with. Stacee recognized that stance, that subtle shift in her posture. It was the same way he would get before walking onto stage when he knew he could give a killer show.

“Do you have to ask? A man needs to wind down after so much stress, all right? There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“How long were you there until?”

“I probably left a bit before 11, maybe around 10:45.”

“What were your activities in there?”

“It’s a strip club, what activities do you think happen in there? Do I really need to spell it out for the court?”

“And nothing out of the ordinary happened?”

Zach narrowed his eyes, studying Mia for a second before replying. “No, just a normal night in the club.”

“Interesting. So you wouldn’t consider a blackout and the fire sprinklers going off in the middle of the dance floor unusual? I have the fire department’s logs right here of responding to an alarm call at just after 10 PM.”

There was enough hubbub in the courtroom that the judge had to slam the gavel a few times. “Order, order! What is the meaning of this? Explain yourself, Ms. Fey.”

“As I mentioned, my investigation led me to the Venus Club, and I learned from the owner that like the Bourbon Club and a lot of other establishments on that strip, it’s an old building that dates back to Prohibition in the 1920s. It’s been retrofitted many times since, of course, but one thing has never changed: the basement entry to the underground tunnels they used for smuggling alcohol between the speakeasies back then.”

“This is preposterous-” began the prosecutor, only to be smoothly cut off by Mia.

“You can check the tunnels for yourself. The Venus Club doesn’t advertise it, but sometimes dancers might go in there with customers for ah, private shows. Mr. Todd, if you entered the club at 9:20 as Ms. Lee testified and didn’t leave until 10:45, then I can only assume you were in the underground tunnel, where you couldn’t see or hear the alarms going off.”

Stacee had never seen Zach’s eyes look so dark before.

“Fine, I admit I was in there. You’ve humiliated me in public, are you happy now? What does this even have to do with Stacee anyway?”

“I do apologize, Mr. Todd, but this opens the door to a new avenue of investigation. I motion for the court to adjourn for the day while the tunnels are properly investigated. I only learned about the existence of the tunnel entrance in the Venus Club late last night – I suspect that the tunnel links to the Bourbon Club as well, especially because the backroom in question has a similar half-basement layout. If the investigation confirms that, this completely changes the facts of the case, as it opens the possibility for a third party to be in the room.”

“Very well. The trial will resume tomorrow. Court is adjourned!”

Stacee supposed it would have been too much to hope for a quick resolution. He had been so ready to give up, let his fate be sealed with a simple snap of the gavel, let the thread of Stacee Jaxx’s story be cut, over and done with.

But as he was discovering now, it seemed that things in his life didn’t break as cleanly as he had thought. And inconveniently enough for how he had resigned to disappear off the face of the earth and from everyone’s minds forever, there were people fighting on his side, even when he had lost the willpower to keep fighting for himself.

Zach’s damning testimony hadn’t surprised him. Truthfully, he had expected all of his former bandmates’ testimony to be along the same lines. He had never dared to hope for or even imagine anything different. But Joey and Andrea told the whole court on record that they believed in him. Even if whatever mind-boggling secrets Mia managed to pull out from the Bourbon Room’s basement amounted to nothing in the end, that was something that Stacee would never forget.

The chains of connection that once only seemed to drag him down were now the only thing holding him together, pulling him back from the abyss. And hope sparked in his chest – tiny, but once lit, it refused to go out, illuminating the things in himself that Stacee would have preferred to leave in darkness.

There was a very real possibility that he might come out the other side of this. He hadn’t even started to consider what life afterwards could look like, so consigned to doom he was until the turnabouts of the trial today. The only thing he knew was that he couldn’t continue as before.

He wanted to be someone worthy of their efforts. No way was he getting out of this unchanged, but maybe, just maybe, that change could be for the better.

The Stacee from even a few months ago would have laughed at himself, would have sneeringly suggested that he go hit the self-help section at the nearest bookstore. But what did that guy know? That guy was who got him into this mess to begin with.

For the first time in months, thoughts of the future instead of the mistakes of his past were what had Stacee tossing and turning in bed until his exhaustion finally claimed him.

He was dreaming of Antonio again, back onstage at the Bourbon Room. Stacee was still tangled in the mess of cables that had ensnared him the last time his mind conjured him here, only now Antonio was grappling to free him.

“Antonio,” Stacee called out to him, and this time his own voice was loud and clear. “Why couldn’t you say it to me either?”

Antonio didn’t respond, just kept pulling at the cables around Stacee. He struggled in silence until his hands, which Stacee didn’t go a day without recalling the softness of, were chapped and raw, his efforts paying off as Stacee was finally freed. But before Stacee could reach out to him, Antonio stumbled backward from the weight of the cables he was now carrying in his own arms, disappearing beneath their mass.

Stacee sat bolt upright in bed, his hands outstretched in front of him, reaching for a phantom that wasn’t there.

What was wrong with him? Just when he had resolved to try and be a better person, his sleeping brain still clung onto the one he had hurt the most deeply, the one he had to let go if there was anything decent left in his soul.

At least the developments in court today were enough to temporarily shake the shadows of Antonio from his brain. Hidden tunnels in a bar that he had frequented over the past seven years, who would have thought? It sounded too ridiculous to be true, if not for the investigators providing video documentation of how the tunnel had an entrance to the Bourbon Room’s basement and the mechanism of the trapdoor hidden behind one of the antique shelves. Those Prohibition booze-runners really had been something else – it had taken investigators stationed on both sides of the door the better part of an hour to find all the hidden levers to push and pull for the door to finally spring open, though it wouldn’t have taken very long at all for someone who knew what they were looking for. Furthermore, the rust that had fallen away from the hinges and the circular marks where the dust had been cleared from the floor confirmed that the secret door had indeed been opened recently.

Dennis swore up and down that he had no idea that such a thing was in his own bar. “Shit, I wouldn’t have kept my expensive top-shelf stuff there if I knew anyone could just waltz in under my nose like that!”

“But not just anyone could open that door,” Mia said. “Whoever opened that door had to have known the trick. In any case, this puts a hole in the assumption that Mr. Jiang and Mr. Vincent were the only ones in the room that night.”

“I suppose you’re going to say the real culprit snuck in through there, then?” the prosecutor sneered, but Stacee could see how he was starting to sweat.

“Exactly. So the question is, who knew how to open that tunnel? Mr. Dupree maintains he had no knowledge of it, and he testified in court yesterday that there was no other way in or out of that room other than the main door. I tracked down the previous owners of the bar, who had gone bankrupt after fighting numerous charges of illicit activity. They had an accomplice who knew the ins and outs of the bar but avoided getting caught up in their legal troubles at the time. Zachary Todd. You already admitted in court yesterday to knowing about the existence of the tunnel from the Venus Club side. Did you know about the entrance in the Bourbon Room?”

“I...” Zach was lost for words for once.

“You don’t need to answer that question. Your previous partners already named you. I find your shadows over this case most interesting, Mr. Todd. While going through the victim’s personal finances, the defense discovered that he was making regular payments every month. I thought it was a case of blackmail at first, but we uncovered a record of an old contract Mr. Vincent had signed at the time of Arsenal’s first single. A contract only between him and you, Mr. Todd, that gave you a greater cut of the royalties than any of your other band members, to be paid directly by Mr. Vincent.”

Stacee couldn’t believe what he was hearing. It was always supposed to be the band united on one side and the occasionally too-greedy manager on the other. That’s how every rock ‘n roll story went, right? But all this time, Zach was secretly getting rich off Steve?

“So what?” Zach’s voice was colder than Stacee had ever heard it. “That has nothing to do with what Stacee did.”

“I’m getting there. The defense submits as evidence to the court one of the victim’s last text message exchanges with Mr. Todd.”

Mia read from the transcript.

“I think we should come clean to Stacee. Get rid of our old arrangement. Maybe that’s the only way to get him back.”



“The reply, from Mr. Todd.”

“No. If he finds out, he’ll be even more pissed at us. We can probably make more from suing him anyway. We can even come out on top despite all this.”



“I’m telling him the truth when I see him. It’s not about the money. What we did wasn’t right.”



“Steve. I’m asking you to think twice about this.”



“The messages speak for themselves. Mr. Vincent was having second thoughts about things, and Mr. Todd objected. I took the liberty of investigating Mr. Todd’s public records, and considering the amount of debt he’s accrued, it’s clear why he would object.”

“What are you driving at with all this, Ms. Fey?” The prosecutor finally broke his silence.

“I’m saying that Mr. Todd had both motive and opportunity. I move to indict Zachary Todd for the murder of Steve Vincent!”

Stacee should have seen it coming. All the evidence that Mia was building, all the uncovered hidden trails were obviously pointing to this outcome. But Stacee didn’t want to believe it, not even when the last echoes of the words had faded from the stunned courtroom.

He had never really believed that anyone would stick by him in the long term, but he could have never imagined such a deliberate betrayal either. Wasn’t he supposed to be Stacee who danced through life, a sailboat skimming the surface, never caring too deeply about anything enough to stay anywhere too long? But all the same, he was finding the barnacles of connection encrusted onto what should have been a surface too smooth for anything to stick, friendship and hatred both set deeper and heavier than he ever would have thought. They had managed to latch onto him after all.

Mia continued on, revealing more of Zach’s growing debts and secretive deals with Steve and the record label. Zach had been careful, but Mia was sharper, uncovering details that Zach had trouble refuting. But Stacee could barely hear any of it over the growing rush of blood in his ears. He couldn’t even look at Zach as he hemmed and hawed his way through excuses. Mia had him in the clutches of her jaws, circling in closer and closer, but Stacee couldn’t feel any vindication or relief, only deep sadness.

“The defense posits that the events of that night unfolded as such: Mr. Todd drugged Mr. Jiang’s drink during his earlier meeting with him, causing him to lose consciousness by the time he met with Mr. Vincent in the backroom. Meanwhile, Mr. Todd seemingly left the Bourbon Room in front of the other witnesses, but made his way back through the tunnel via the Venus Club to hide in the backroom, waiting for the other two to come in. The seating in the room was such that Mr. Vincent’s back would have been to the door, so no one would have noticed him coming out. When the moment came, Mr. Todd struck Mr. Vincent to the back of the head with the stool. I suspect he also attacked Mr. Jiang with the same weapon, and afterwards, hit the stool against the ground to draw attention. It would have been trivial to place the stool into the unconscious Mr. Jiang’s hands by that point, especially if he was wearing gloves.”

Mia set her files down, preparing for the final blow.

“However careful Mr. Todd was, he missed a crucial detail. The stool had a jagged protrusion of metal jutting out, and it must have pierced his hand as he swung it. Analysis found traces of latex and blood – a match for the unidentified blood traces left on the crime scene. There was no match with the victim or the defendant, but given what we know now, I suspect we will find one if Mr. Todd submits himself for DNA testing.”

The expression of righteous indignation melted away from Zach’s face, leaving behind only utter coldness. “Save yourself the trouble. I hate needles. You win, Ms. Fey. Well-played.”

“Zach?” Stacee couldn’t resist calling out, trying to bring back the face of the man he had thought he had known for years.

“That’s right, Stacee.” Zach’s icy gaze could have left frostbite marks where it swept over Stacee, looking at him like an insect below his regard. “It was me. I killed Steve and set you up to take the fall. Aren’t you going to ask me why?”

Stacee’s throat closed, and he could only silently gape at him.

“Because I hate you. Because we were always this close to greatness, but always fell short because you had to be such a diva, such a fuckup. Because you were always just good enough for me to stick around, thinking we’d turn a corner any day, but you weren’t good enough for it to actually happen. How do you think I got into all this shit? I wanted the life you promised, and because of you it ended up being above my means. And right before I was finally going to get something out of this, you don’t have the decency to just lie down and let me take what I deserve. Fuck, you know what? I’m actually glad to finally admit all to this because I can finally say to your face how much I hate you. I should have hit you harder that night, but I wanted to see you suffer even more.”

Stacee couldn’t feel his fingers, his whole body numb with how hard his heart was pounding. But everyone was looking at him, expecting some response, and the only thing he could think to say was, “You were my friend.”

“Do you really think someone like you has any real friends? You should know better by now after being in this industry for so long.” Zach looked unhinged, and Stacee barely recognized the man he thought he had known for years. Or was this his real face all along? “Do you think anyone would tolerate you if they didn’t think they were getting anything out of it, you flaky, spineless piece of-”

“Zachary Todd. You will stand trial at a later date. But for now, I think Mr. Jiang’s innocence is quite clear in this case.” The judge mercifully cut Zach off before Stacee’s heart could shatter even further.

Stacee only dimly registered when the final verdict was read after the jury’s deliberations. Innocent, at the cost of a betrayal that Stacee was afraid to even start considering the depths of. Mia had to half-push him staggering out to the court lobby.

“Stacee!” Andrea’s voice cut through the fog of his mind. The hug was unexpected, but so badly needed. Even Joey slung an awkward arm over his shoulders, and Stacee trembled between their arms. “You all right?”

“None of us are all right. We just found out our drummer’s a fucking psycho murderer who’s been ripping us all off for years,” Joey said, and Stacee felt a shaky grin spread across his face despite himself.

“I don’t know. Maybe later, much later, I’ll be ok. But first, thank you.” Stacee’s earnest tone felt weird even to himself, but he didn’t have anything else left to cloak it in. “Thank you both.”

Joey slapped him on the back, embarrassed. “We’re still mad at you. Don’t get me wrong. But fine, I’m glad you’re not going to jail.”

“And don’t let whatever stupid bullshit Zach said at the end get to you. He was wrong, you do have friends, even if we are kinda crazy for it, and people who care about you.”

“For whatever reason,” Joey said before Andrea smacked his arm.

“Thank you,” Stacee said again. This didn’t come easy. It ran counter to every stupid schtick of his persona that he had cultivated so well over the years that it almost overwrote whoever he really was. But he had just been through hell and back – what was a bit of emotional honesty compared to that? “I really mean it. Thank you for believing in me. I almost didn’t. I know I’ve let you down, too many times to count. But I’ll try. To be better.”

Joey just gaped at him. “Who are you and what have you done with Stacee Jaxx?”

“Oh shut up, I’m trying,” hissed Stacee, feeling his face heat up. He looked around desperately for a way to deflect the attention, settling on Mia gently smiling behind his bandmates. “Mia, thank you too. And please, I also want to thank the fan who hired you for my case. I know you said they want to stay anonymous, but see, I’m trying this being a better person thing out. Cheesy, I know. That probably starts with giving them some proper acknowledgement, right?”

Andrea didn’t even bother trying to hide her scoff of a laugh. “A fan, huh? That’s one way to put it, I guess. Definitely your biggest fan.”

Something prickled at the back of Stacee’s skull. “You know them?”

“Yeah, such a big fan, he convinced us to get out of our heads and testify. Believed in you when even we had trouble. Tracked down a lot of leads in the case too, from what I heard. Ah, what I’d give for a fan like that.”

Stacee looked helplessly at Mia, not daring to even form the sudden, wild thought in his mind. She just smiled beatifically back.

“My client’s anonymity was part of the terms of our agreement. But Andrea’s right – we couldn’t have cracked the case without everything they did for you.”

“Ugh, I don’t wanna get involved with this,” Joey muttered. “Stacee, even you should be able to figure it out, right?”

Stacee’s heart was hammering again – it was really getting a workout today. Suddenly, the thought that he had been trying to suppress came flaring to life, and the impossible hope that he had hated for refusing to die was terrifyingly real and imminent.

He just had to be brave enough to reach out and grab it.

“Can one of you give me a lift back to my car? There’s somewhere I need to go right now.”

sedentiment

可以到这儿去看我配 Chapter 1 的插画~
https://www.ycfmusical.top/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=17645

鲤伴LB

我被文化的壁垒挡在了门外

sedentiment

Innocent.

Antonio had believed it from the very beginning, but the wave of relief that washed over him once he heard the official verdict from Mia weakened his grip enough that he almost dropped his phone.

“Thank you,” he said over and over again, glad that Mia couldn’t see how wet his tired eyes were getting over the phone call.

“Thank you, Antonio. We couldn't have done this without you. Now get some rest while you can. I know you didn’t get much sleep last night either.”

The call clicked off, and with it went the tension that had been holding Antonio together for the past two weeks. He collapsed into an exhausted heap on his couch, pressing his forearm over his eyes as he sobbed in sheer relief. Last night he hadn’t slept at all, staying up to research a few remaining minor leads that Mia and her team didn’t have time to cover. Even though Mia had already dismissed them as low priority and unlikely to come up, Antonio hadn’t wanted to miss a single thing, not when Stacee’s fate might hinge on the slightest detail. He wouldn’t have been able to fall asleep anyway, nearly sick with anxiety about how the second day of the trial would go, and it was almost a relief to busy himself obsessing over minutiae.

But it was over now. It was all over, and that included Antonio’s part in Stacee’s story, just as he had intended. Mission accomplished. He would deal with the complicated mess of emotions that festered in his heart later. For now, he would allow himself to lie there in simple gratitude that Stacee was safe and free.

His phone rang. Thinking it must be Mia with something else to say, he picked up the call without checking the number, his eyes too tired to focus on the screen.

“Antonio.”

This time, Antonio did drop his phone, and it fell from his suddenly numb fingers to bounce clattering across the floorboards. He must have been hallucinating from lack of sleep, because that was Stacee’s voice he heard.

“Antonio?” The sound was tinny and distant from where his phone landed, but that voice fell upon Antonio’s ears as if shouted directly into them. “Are you there?”

It was Stacee. There was no mistaking that voice, the lower register that got under his skin even coming from the other side of a phone. Antonio hadn’t blocked or even deleted Stacee’s number (he should have, he knew he should have, yet he couldn’t resist the indulgence of hanging onto what memories he could), but he had never expected to hear that voice from his phone ever again.

He missed Stacee so terribly that his chest felt pierced through with it, but he was so afraid. Afraid that if he picked up the phone, he wouldn’t be able to keep his promise to himself to help Stacee from a detached distance and depart without a trace from his life once his troubles had passed. Afraid that he couldn’t stop himself from being selfish, from wanting Stacee still, even when he knew he shouldn’t, when he had no right to. Afraid of letting his impossible hopes build up only to be rejected, and rightfully so.

He had been able to ignore his feelings when he was focused on pouring all his energy into the case. Knowing that he wouldn’t see Stacee again made it easy to pretend that he could accept the way things were, that there wasn’t still an ugly selfish part of himself that couldn’t stop wanting. But just hearing his name on Stacee’s voice once more was enough to shatter his resolve. Stacee always had that effect on him, tearing through what Antonio had thought were his rock-solid defenses like they were nothing more than paper-thin excuses.

He should just stay quiet, pretend that something went wrong with the connection, that the call dropped. He should hang up, block Stacee’s number and change his own, move out of town, away to where Stacee would never find him, where he’d never be tempted again by what he shouldn’t want-

“Antonio. Please, I want to talk.”

And Antonio couldn’t deny Stacee after all.

He forced himself to pick up his phone, holding it trembling to his ear. “I’m here.” Those two words seemed to empty all of the air from his lungs.

“You hired Mia Fey for me.” It was neither question nor accusation, but Antonio flinched as if it had been the latter.

This was what he had most feared. He considered lying, but too many people that Stacee had trusted had lied to him already, and Antonio couldn’t add to their number.

He kneaded the heel of his hand into his brow, gathering as much composure as he could against his rising panic. “How did you find out? That was supposed to be confidential.” At least his voice didn’t come out as shaky as it could have.

Stacee let out a rattling exhale that might have been a laugh. “Who else could it possibly be?”

Antonio didn’t know what to say. He just lay there on the couch, pressing his phone tight enough against his ear for him to hear Stacee’s soft breaths from the other side.

“Why?” There still wasn’t a hint of accusation in Stacee’s voice, but Antonio’s insides clenched with guilt.

“I knew you were innocent,” he managed to say before his throat closed on any further words. He had to make it clear that he didn’t expect anything in return, that he never intended to force his way back into Stacee’s life when he wasn’t wanted. There was so much he should be saying, but none of it was coming out between the fear and want and guilt that immobilized him.

“...I’m outside.”

“What?”

“Outside your place. I... still have your spare key for the building’s front gate. Can you open your door?”

As if walking to the hangman’s block, Antonio did as asked, fingers shaking so badly that he fumbled with turning the lock open. The thought that Stacee was right on the other side didn’t yet register fully in his mind. None of it seemed real until the lock finally clicked into place and he slowly opened the door.

Stacee was there. He was really there.

It was a good thing Antonio was leaning against the doorframe, because seeing Stacee in the flesh again nearly knocked his legs out from under him.

For a long while, Stacee just looked at him, and Antonio looked back. He had lost a lot of weight since Antonio had last seen him, and though the tabloids had sadistically tracked how Stacee had seemed to waste away in recent months, the effect was even more pronounced in person. His face was gaunt and unshaven, his hair limp and unwashed. Combined with the dark circles under his eyes and the pallor of his skin, he looked shockingly frail. Antonio supposed he must have looked in similar shape himself after the stress of the past two weeks.

But Stacee’s eyes were focused and bright against his haggard face. Caught in that brightness, Antonio forgot to step away when Stacee took him into his arms and kissed him deeply.

The door swung wide open as Antonio felt his back hit the wall, Stacee nudging his face to tilt slightly up to meet him. Antonio hadn’t had time to shave for a while either, and his stubble rasped against Stacee’s as Stacee worked their lips together.

His first instinct was to melt into the kiss, let himself fall back into the comfort of the touch that he had missed to madness. Seeing him, hearing him, feeling him, tasting him... all of Antonio’s senses were telling him on the most primordial level to relax, that he was home, that everything was all right again as long as this man was here holding him, that he should just give in to what he wanted-

No.

No, he couldn’t.

Antonio didn’t have a lot of strength left to push against Stacee’s shoulders, but it was enough for Stacee to get the message and break their kiss.

“Stop,” he managed to gasp out, and Stacee froze at the word, releasing Antonio from his sudden embrace. Antonio dropped his hands and his gaze, looking anywhere but the eyes he had no defense against. He didn’t think he’d be able to say what he had to otherwise. “Stacee, you don’t have to do this. You don’t owe me anything.”

“What are you talking about?” Stacee’s voice was thick with emotion, but Antonio couldn’t stop to think about what that emotion might be.

“I hired Mia because I knew you were innocent. It was the right thing to do. But please don’t make yourself do this.”

“Is that what you think? That I’m here out of a sense of obligation or something?”

Stacee really wasn’t going to make this easy for him.

“I know I... overstepped. What we agreed on, what we were doing. I know you didn’t want to see me again, so I didn’t want you to know about my involvement with your case. The last thing I want is to be a burden to you. Please, just forget you ever found out.” Antonio closed his eyes in a futile attempt to stop the humiliating tears from flowing. He had to finish this, even if every word that he forced felt like it tore a piece of his heart with it on its way out. “You can take your things back while you’re here. They’re packed up in the garage.”

“So that’s it? Is that what you want, Antonio?” Stacee took on an edge that Antonio hadn’t seen before, stepping forward so that while he still wasn’t touching him, he completely filled Antonio’s space, forcing him to open his eyes and face him. “You really want to just be a noble knight in shining armor, saving the day before riding off alone like some kind of completely selfless saint? Happy to martyr yourself without ever asking anything in return? Never even being acknowledged? But you’re not a saint. You’re only human. You can’t just give away every part of yourself like this and never open your mouth to say what you want. You’ve suffered too much that way already.”

Antonio was shaking again, the tears now running freely down his face.

“What do you want, Antonio?” Stacee repeated the question.

“I... I can’t…”

“You were so brave to believe in me when no one else would, to fight for me like you did. How can you be so afraid now?” Stacee reached out to place a hand on his cheek, so gentle that it crushed Antonio’s heart more completely than the heaviest blow. “Do you need me to say it first?”

His touch as light and warm as a sunbeam, Stacee turned Antonio’s face up towards him to look into his eyes, and he smiled.

“I love you.”

The words echoed almost meaninglessly in his ears, as if he was hearing without comprehending. Antonio gaped at him helplessly. He couldn’t seem to remember how to breathe. His heart seemed to have forgotten how to beat, suspended on the words he had never dared to imagine would ever be directed at him. Stacee’s hand on his burning cheek felt like the only real thing to his body now, the one point of contact still keeping him upright.

“I’ve loved you for a long time. Longer than I wanted to admit even to myself, before you get any more weird ideas about this being some kind of payback for saving me. But I was afraid too, and I ran away like the coward I am. I know I must have hurt you so badly. I can’t ask you to forgive me for what I did.”

It was too much. Antonio was sure he was dreaming, the storm clouds in his mind insisting that this was too good to be true, that what Stacee was saying couldn't possibly be real, that he was never meant for this kind of happiness. He had been in the rain for so long that he didn’t know what to do with the sudden sight of the radiant sun shining ahead, still believing that it would disappear behind yet another cloud once he caught up to it.

“I was scared of this, scared of change, scared of stagnation, scared of messing things up. Scared of getting attached, hell, scared of myself. I was such a fucking idiot, trying to pretend I didn’t know I was already in love with you. Then everything happened, and, well. I had a lot of time to think when I was in the detention center. Turns out being in a life-or-death situation is a great time for some serious soul-searching.”

Stacee wiped Antonio’s tears away with his thumb, still cradling his face.

“I kept trying to convince myself that you moved on. I even hoped that you did. You deserve to be happy, and I didn’t think I could ever accomplish that, not after how I treated you. I thought my life was over, and that was for the best if it meant you could forget about me for good. But when I realized it was you, all along it was you, I... I felt like the most selfish person in the world, because I was so glad. Because it meant I might have another chance, even if I’m the last person who deserves it. Because I still want you. Because I love you, Antonio, so damn much that it still scares me. But I won't let fear stop me anymore. Don’t let it stop you, either. So tell me, what do you want?”

What did he want?

What would it feel like to finally answer that question, after having repressed it his whole life? Could it really be this simple to drop the fears that had tortured him for so long and just reach out for what he wanted?

The clouds had stopped chasing the sun, and Stacee was waiting for him to catch up. All he had to do was step forward out of the rain to meet him there, to claim this piece of sunlight for himself, to take what he wanted for once in his life, bold, unapologetic, and with the unbearably sweet reassurance that he was wanted in return.

That he was loved.

“You.” Antonio let himself lean into Stacee’s hand on his cheek, and in that moment, it was like every nerve in his body existed only to soak in the warmth from his palm. He was still crying, but his sobs melted into breathless laughter. The words he had been so terrified of voicing, so desperate to conceal in his fearful denial of himself, now flowed out as if they had always been fated to, the promised rainbow after the storm. “You already know I love you.”

Stacee’s answering smile was brilliant enough to dry out the last of the rain.

There was still so much to say, and unsaid words had ruined this before, but for now, all Antonio wanted was to resume their interrupted kiss. He pulled Stacee fully past his threshold, finally closing the door after them as they stumbled through the living room to fall onto the couch without breaking the connection between their lips.

Pressed under Stacee’s warm weight, hanging tightly onto his shoulders, Antonio felt delirious with joy, almost on the verge of fainting from the emotion that swelled within every corner of his being to overwhelm senses already frail from exhaustion. His back ached from hunching over files for too long and his already-tired eyes were now puffing up from all the crying, but Stacee’s touch, surprisingly chaste for once as he delicately cupped Antonio’s face like he was the most precious thing on earth, drove out all other sensation, rendered all else utterly inconsequential against the tidal wave of sheer love that bathed everything in the warmest light.

They had kissed countless times before, but it wasn’t just the end of their long separation that tinged their lips with something sweeter now, something deeper and infinitely more intoxicating. Their initial wild desperation to reacquaint themselves with each other’s mouths soon relaxed into a gentler pace, lazy and soft, without the heated edge that had colored so much of their time together, yet somehow all the more potent for the lack of it.

Antonio slowly carded his fingers through Stacee’s tangled hair, which had grown much longer than he remembered, the feathery ends dangling down to tickle at Antonio’s neck. It felt like the most decadent luxury now to revel in the simple intimacy of that motion, to stroke Stacee’s hair with all the tenderness he had once tried to hold back, tenderness that had nothing to do with desire. Stacee sighed into his mouth and relaxed beneath his touch, letting his entire weight drop onto Antonio’s chest so that they were completely flush against each other. He shifted his face to the side to catch his breath, keeping his cheek pressed against Antonio’s.

“I feel like we’re supposed to be having wild sex right about now. That’s how these reunion scenes go in the movies, right?” Stacee laughed, the deep reverberations tingling through Antonio’s chest. “But somehow, I just want to lie here with you tonight.”

Antonio hummed in agreement. “It’s been a long day. There’ll be time for that later.”

Stacee turned to face him, bumping the tips of their noses together. “There will. All the time I have to give. And that’s a promise.”

How was it even possible to feel this incandescently happy? Antonio didn’t know how to hold so much warmth in himself, and it ended up spilling out through his eyes yet again.

“Hey, there’s no reason to cry anymore, right?” Stacee brushed his lips over his wet cheekbones.

Antonio sniffed even as he felt the corners of his mouth lift of their own volition. “Then you shouldn’t cry either.” But he made no move to wipe away the tears that dripped down onto his face from Stacee’s eyes to wet his cheeks even further, rendering Stacee’s attempts to kiss away his tears deliciously futile.

Stacee’s lips inevitably wandered back to his own to bring him into another slow, lingering kiss, and the tinge of salt only served to accentuate the sweetness that pooled through Antonio’s body like honey, leaving him cloying and mellow beneath Stacee. Minutes or hours could have passed, but it would have made no difference to them as they lay there entwined on the couch, sharing each other’s breath and taste and touch. It was like they were discovering it all for the first time, if not for how the ache of missing this for so long was soothed at last with each kiss that reassured them that they were actually here now in each other’s arms.

When they reluctantly broke apart to breathe, Stacee attempted to prop himself up by his elbows from where he was still resting on top of Antonio’s chest. Antonio missed the feeling of his weight on him immediately and pulled him back down.

“Aren’t I squashing you?” Stacee laughed, though he let Antonio topple him and hold him close.

“You aren’t. You’ve gotten lighter. Too light,” Antonio said into a shoulder much bonier than he remembered it. His arms around Stacee’s narrow waist only confirmed it doubly, and his heart lurched painfully even through his current rosy haze of happiness at the thought of how Stacee must have suffered on his own.

“You sound like a proper Italian grandma now. I guess you’ll have to cook me more of your amazing pasta to fatten me back up, huh, nonna?”

Antonio hadn’t laughed until his gut ached like this in a long time. Stacee joined him until they were both almost falling off the couch over a joke that was really way too stupid to merit such a response. Eventually though, Antonio was interrupted by too many yawns to ignore, and it didn’t take long for Stacee to catch a bout of it too.

“Bed?” Stacee said between yawns. “And I actually do just mean to sleep. You know I really am tired when I can’t even think of an innuendo here.”

Antonio ran his hand through Stacee's hair again and then his own, grinning wryly at the grittiness he could feel now that his initial wave of overwhelming besottedness had calmed somewhat and the world was no longer saturated in technicolor rainbows. Just regular rainbows, which Antonio would treasure forever now that he was out of the rain. “Shower first, then bed.”

In a new variation on the ritual they had shared so often in the past, they got into the shower together without so much as sticking a hand down the other's pants beforehand. Stacee did insist on taking off Antonio’s clothes himself, and though he playfully trailed his fingers over Antonio’s exposed skin in the process, they were both too exhausted to take it seriously. Antonio was happy just to let Stacee undress him, strip him down so he was bared to him in every sense, all self-consciousness forgotten in the face of Stacee’s wholehearted acceptance of him, flawed Antonio whom Stacee loved anyway. And Stacee let Antonio undress him too, let him peel back the layers of superficiality that Stacee had always tried to pretend were all there was to him, let him hold his vulnerable, fragile core, entrusting him to take care of that rawest, softest part of himself.

Antonio wrapped his arms around Stacee’s shoulders and Stacee circled his waist in return once they were both completely nude and standing beneath the spray of the shower. The warm water pronounced the press of his bare skin against Stacee’s, sealing in their points of contact. They just stood there for a long moment, letting the water run over them as if it could wash away all of the pain of the past few months and all of the burdens that had weighed them down for much longer than that.

It was just a shower, of course, and Antonio really shouldn’t let it run so long when there was a drought going on in the state as usual. They didn’t need the water for washing off their burdens when they had each other now to share them. It wouldn’t be as simple as washing off the grit of the day, but unlike the foam that dripped down Stacee’s shoulders as Antonio worked shampoo into his hair, he could finally believe that this wouldn’t flow away, that this was here for good.

Stacee moaned gently as Antonio massaged his scalp, leaning more heavily into him. “Ahhh, don’t stop, Antonio! Right there, but a bit harder, oh...! More, more! Yes, that feels amazing.”

If not for his exhaustion, Antonio probably would have gotten hard despite himself. For now, he settled for pointing the showerhead directly onto the top of Stacee’s head, sending wet hair flopping down to cover his eyes but not the playful twist of his mouth.

“I missed how ridiculous you are,” Antonio said against his lips, bringing Stacee, his eyes still obscured, into another kiss through the water that flowed over both their faces. He had long since lost track of how many kisses they had shared tonight, or maybe tonight was really just one long continuous kiss, interrupted only by inconvenient things like having to breathe.

Stacee didn’t even bother pushing the hair out of his eyes, content to use his hands for better purposes like rubbing at the back of Antonio's neck. “Want me to do you?”

“What? I thought you were too tired,” Antonio said stupidly, his mind still deliciously blank. “I mean, if you’re really up for it...”

“I’m never too tired to wash my boyfriend’s hair.” Stacee smirked at how Antonio’s mouth dropped open as he reached around him for the shampoo bottle. He gasped in mock-scandalized tones. “What, you were thinking of that kind of doing you? Head always in the gutter, tsk tsk, what to do with you? Besides doing you, heh. Close your mouth, don’t wanna drink shampoo.”

Antonio obediently did as told but couldn’t help smiling close-mouthed the whole time Stacee carefully worked his fingers through his hair. When Stacee rinsed the last of the foam away, Antonio said, “So I’m your boyfriend, huh?”

Stacee’s blush was visible despite the warm water that already tinted both of their skin pink. “Well, I mean, can you even imagine me saying the word partner? I feel twenty years older just thinking it. Or, heh, lover? Two hundred years older.”

“I’m happy with whatever my boyfriend wants to call me,” Antonio smiled, not missing how Stacee shivered a bit at that. Saying the words sent an electric thrill through himself as well. “The rest are accurate too, though. I’m here with you as your partner, and I love you.”

“Who’s the corny one now?” Stacee scoffed, but he blushed even further. “Let’s get out of the shower before you go on sweeping me off my feet. Don’t want to hit my head on the tile.”

Lulled by the warm air and Stacee’s fingertips gently running over his scalp, Antonio nearly nodded off while Stacee was blow-drying his hair, but once they were dry, they managed to stumble safely to the bed, stopping by the closet to grab an extra set of sleepwear. Stacee got most of it on before they both sank into the mattress, Antonio helping him push his head out the top of the shirt. He really did look at home wearing Antonio’s clothes, was Antonio’s last conscious thought before he drifted off into a deep sleep, his arms still wrapped around Stacee’s shoulders and his face buried in Stacee’s neck.

-

Antonio started awake at the brush of warm lips against his forehead, trailing down his face to gently suck at his throat.

“Good morning,” Stacee said from where he was leaning over him by the side of the bed, an apron haphazardly tucked over his borrowed sleep clothes. “Or to be more accurate, good afternoon. It’s 2 PM. I would have let you sleep for as long as you wanted, but lunch is almost ready.”

The haze of sleepy confusion abruptly lifted as Antonio remembered everything that had happened last night. “I still feel like I’m dreaming,” he admitted, reaching out to touch Stacee’s cheek. Real, solid, warm. “You’re really here.”

“Here to stay.” Stacee nuzzled his face catlike against his hand.

Thankfully, Antonio was too calm after finally getting a full night’s rest to cry again. He just let the warmth settle in his chest, adapting to the strange new feeling of having something so tangible to hold onto.

Stacee stroked his hands down Antonio’s arms, on the verge of continuing where they left off last night, if not for the insistent vibrations of Antonio’s phone from wherever he had thrown it in the living room.

“I woke up about an hour ago and your phone’s been going off like crazy since. You should probably let everyone know you’re still alive before I get arrested again,” Stacee sighed, reluctantly relinquishing his hold on Antonio as he made to sit up and get out of bed.

“Don’t even joke about that. I think my heart really would give out if that ever happened again,” Antonio said offhandedly, but Stacee’s expression turned serious anyway, and he caught Antonio’s hand.

“I guess I didn’t say it last night, with everything else I was saying, but... thank you, Antonio. Thank you for what you did for me. I meant it when I said I thought a lot about things, and I want to be better. Not just for you, but everyone who's been there for me. And, well, for myself too.”

Ah, there went his resolve not to cry again. He was lost for words, but Stacee understood all the same, squeezing his hand one last time before letting go.

“Your phone’s ringing again. Better go get that. I’ll finish cooking.”

Following the sound of vibration against the floorboards, Antonio fished his phone out from where it had fallen under the couch. “Hey, Bas.”

“Tonio! You finally picked up! I’ve been trying to reach you since last night! I was this close to driving over to your place, but Portia stopped me in case, um. Is Stacee Jaxx there with you now?”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to make you worry. I actually just woke up. And yes, he’s here.” Antonio couldn't hold back his smile on those last words.

Bassanio cursed under his breath. “Well, I guess he really is innocent, right?”

“He is.”

“Fine, that doesn’t mean I have to like him, though! I can’t forget what he did to you so easily! Humph. But it sounds like you’ve forgiven him already. You must have had a lot of fun last night if you’re only waking up now at two in the afternoon.”

“Bas.”

“Ahaha, don’t be so prudish – you’re with Stacee Jaxx, after all! I mean, you have heard what he sings in his songs, right? Wait, you better not tell me you’re still doing whatever bullshit supposedly-casual thing you used to.”

“No, it’s not like that now. We talked, and yes. We’re together.” Antonio had known it since last night, but saying it out loud to Bassanio sealed it in his mind even further. He never knew that happiness could root so deep.

“Ah Tonio, I’m truly happy for you. Even if I still owe Stacee Jaxx a punch before I shake his hand. Do you think he’d still sign an autograph for me after?”

Stacee poked his head out from the kitchen. “Lunch is ready!”

“Ooh I heard that – was that him? Tell him he’d better feed you well! That’s the least he can do!”

“We’ll talk later, Bas,” Antonio laughed and ended the call.

Stacee had assembled an impressive spread out of the leftovers and the few remaining fresh ingredients Antonio had in his fridge, slicing the dull chicken breast into well-seasoned sandwiches. He had even dug out Antonio’s panini press and grilled them nicely. “Was that Bassan... Basilica?”

“You’ve grown rusty. Almost slipped up there.” Antonio took a bite of his sandwich and thumbed through the rest of the messages on his phone. Aside from Bassanio and even Portia texting between his missed calls and Dennis' somewhat apologetic well wishes, there were surprisingly some texts from Andrea and Joey. Andrea wrote only “have fun” while Joey just sent a thumbs up. Stacee laughed helplessly when Antonio showed him.

“Those punks. I bet no one would believe us if we told them we didn’t actually do anything besides kiss and cuddle last night.”

“I do hate to disappoint them.” Antonio was somewhat surprised at how his own boldness picked up so easily again even after their long separation, but this was Stacee, after all, who could draw out Antonio’s desire just by sitting across his kitchen table eating sandwiches with him.

“Oh, we’ll meet their expectations and then some. But before that, will you indulge me? Today, I want to take you out on a proper first date.” Stacee bristled a tad sheepishly at Antonio’s raised eyebrows. “Don’t laugh - I already planned the whole thing out! We’ll eat ice cream in the park, catch a movie, get a nice dinner, grab some drinks.”

“Our first date, huh?” Antonio wasn’t sure if he was laughing at the oddly embarrassed expression on Stacee’s face or from the sudden lightheaded giddiness that welled up inside him at the thought. For so long, he had thought of love as a heavy, secretive burden to be endured. He had never realized love could fill the most frivolous things with delight.

“Yes, now that we’re officially dating, boyfriends, together, whatever we’re supposed to call it that doesn’t make me feel like I’m in high school. First actual date. Did I mention we’re getting ice cream?”

“I can’t remember the last time I had ice cream,” Antonio admitted. “Wait, have you even been back to your place yet? Didn’t you come here straight from the courtroom last night?”

“Yeah, there are probably a lot of things I should sort out there. And I will! But let’s just take a day for ourselves first. These past months without you have been way too long.”

“They have.”

“So, how about it? Will you go out with me, Mr. Veneziano?”

“That depends, Mr. Jaxx. What are we watching?”

“I have no idea – I didn’t check that. Whatever’s showing after we finish our ice cream.” Stacee leaned forward to dab a napkin over the corner of Antonio’s lips where some sauce had smeared, letting his voice drop into its velvety lower register as he murmured into his ear. “And after drinks, we’ll come back here, and I’ll fuck you through the mattress. How does that sound?”

Antonio swallowed the last of his sandwich as his breath caught in his throat. “Sounds like a date.”

-

They couldn’t have asked for better weather today, which was perfect because the line for the popular ice cream shop that had turned up first in Stacee’s cursory internet search stretched out to halfway through the park. Stacee held his hand the whole time they were waiting, even as the sun made their palms start to sweat and stick together.

As they were about halfway through the line, a young woman who had been not-so-discreetly throwing curious glances their way left her place ahead in line to approach them. “Excuse me, are you Stacee Jaxx?”

Stacee nodded slightly, surprised to be recognized despite being dressed in Antonio’s far-less conspicuous clothes. The two of them hadn't wanted to sort through the boxes of Stacee's things for his own clothes before their date, and in any case, Antonio had been happy for the excuse to keep seeing Stacee in his clothes.

“Oh my god, it really is you! I’m a huge fan! It was such a relief you were declared innocent – I knew it all along. Could I get an autograph?”

The fan rummaged through her purse looking for something to sign. Stacee looked apologetically over at Antonio when she produced a tube of lipstick and handed it over to him as the intended writing implement, but Antonio just smiled and nudged him forward with his shoulder.

Stacee let go of Antonio’s hand to take the proffered lipstick, ignoring the hem of her shirt that she hopefully lifted up to him in favor of signing his name with a flourish on the shoulder of her sleeve. She squealed in delight nonetheless and bounced over to Stacee’s side, the phone in her hand already poised for a selfie. “Can we take a photo together too?”

Antonio started to step back to give them some space, but Stacee looped his arm around his waist, holding him in place.

“I’m always glad to meet a fan, and thanks for your support!” The forced polite smile on Stacee’s face nearly had Antonio snorting in laughter. “But I’m actually here with my boyfriend now, if you wouldn’t mind giving us some privacy.”

“Oh! Ohhhh!” The fan’s mouth hung open, and it was all Antonio could do to keep from doing the same. As she looked Antonio up and down, Stacee tightened his arm around his waist almost protectively, and a good thing too, because Antonio felt a bit weak in the knees at how readily and naturally Stacee claimed him. “I, um, wow! Congratulations! Wow! I have to say, you’re a beautiful couple. Ok, enjoy your ice cream! Wait, do you want to trade places in line with me? It would be my honor!”

“Well, if you’re offering so nicely, how can we refuse?” Stacee smirked sidelong at Antonio, who could only shrug helplessly.

Antonio ended up taking a photo for the fan with Stacee after all as thanks for saving them a good twenty minutes of waiting. After he handed her phone back to her, she walked over to her new position farther back in line, but not without turning her head almost all the way around to keep staring at Antonio, her face nearly split in half with how much she was grinning.

“Sorry,” Stacee said once she was gone. “I should have asked you if that was ok first, to call you my boyfriend in public. You might end up in the tabloids tomorrow.”

“You know I don’t read those anyway. I... I was actually really happy to hear you say that.”

Stacee pulled him closer, so that his lips brushed against his ear. “Were you? You like people to know that you’re mine? That’s good, because suddenly I find myself wanting to show you off to the world. Let everyone know I’m taken by you.” He curled his fingers into his side, and Antonio shivered.

“Stacee, if you keep this up, it’s going to be hard not to skip to the end of this date.”

Stacee licked his earlobe devilishly. “We can’t have that. We still have to watch – what was the movie playing again?”

The person behind them in line pointedly cleared their throat, and the two of them scrambled to close the rather wide distance to the person in front of them.

The ice cream probably wasn’t worth how long they had waited, but Antonio wouldn’t have traded the cone they shared for the best gelato in Italy. They found a nice shady spot beneath a tree to sit, savoring the ice cream and each other’s company.

Of course, Stacee couldn’t pass up such a golden opportunity to tease Antonio.

“There could be children in this park!” Antonio lightly swatted Stacee’s shoulder as he swirled his tongue around the height of the ice cream and even worse, bobbed his head slightly and practically deep-throated the cone.

“But it’s so good,” Stacee pouted. “And it tastes even better this way. You wanna try? Go ahead, give it a nice long lick from base to tip-”

Antonio shut him up with a kiss, their lips cold and sweet.

The movie was no doubt terrible, either a sequel or a prequel to some action movie neither of them had seen, and between the two of them, they probably only watched all of ten minutes before they started making out in earnest. Luckily, Stacee had chosen two seats in the row farthest back, and even the many explosions from the movie sounded muted and distant to Antonio as they fumbled in the dark.

Antonio had never had popcorn thrown at him in a movie theatre before. He had never moaned aloud from his boyfriend groping him a bit too enthusiastically in a movie theatre before either, but there was a first time for everything. Stacee laughed the entire time while helping him pick out all the bits of kernels from his hair.

“You’re terrible,” Antonio muttered, his face still burning.

“I am,” Stacee grinned back at him. “But it’s too late for you. You’re stuck with me now, so you're terrible too by association.”

To that, Antonio just threw one of the larger pieces of popcorn at Stacee, who caught it in his mouth and immediately swallowed it.

“Too bad it’s not kettle corn. Though your hair would be even more of a mess now if it was. Oh shit - wait, what’s the time? Don’t tell me it’s already... well, surely the restaurant won’t mind if we’re a bit late...”

“A bit late meaning...?”

Stacee winced. “An hour late? I may have miscalculated some things. Hey, I’m usually not the making reservations kind of guy.”

Antonio dusted the last of the popcorn from his shoulders and pulled at Stacee’s hand. “Let’s go anyway. We’ll play it by ear.”

As it turned out, the restaurant didn’t admit parties an hour late to their reservations, but Stacee wasn’t above using his clout, and if it came down to it, outright begging.

“Please?” It was quite the sight to see Stacee turn the full force of his best impression of a kicked puppy onto someone else, the restaurant hostess in this case. “I may be the famous rock star Stacee Jaxx, but tonight I’m just a man here on a long-overdue first date with the love of my life. You see, we’ve been in love for a while, but I wasn’t brave enough to face it until now, and finally we’re making up for lost time. It would really mean a lot to me if you could make this night perfect for us with a table for two.”

Antonio wasn’t sure if the hostess even had the slightest clue who Stacee was, but she did look somewhat moved by his tale, judging by the sappy look she gave Antonio, whose face was burning so hot it was ready to evaporate off, even if at the same time, his insides had melted into soft, happy goo from Stacee’s ridiculous, yet even more ridiculously, actually sincere little speech.

“You’re in luck – it looks like we’ve just had another no-show. I can get you their table. Have a wonderful evening. I’m rooting for you!”

“Thank you,” Stacee graced her with one of his rare genuine smiles as he swept his arm over Antonio’s shoulders to follow their server to the table. “And I’d be happy to autograph anything for you-” he was cut off by Antonio’s elbow.

Having the full force of Stacee’s light concentrated on him like this was a bit dazzling, a bit dazing, and completely addicting, even if occasionally mortifying. But even the most mortifying embarrassment couldn’t last long against Stacee’s sheer presence, and despite all the awkward moments Antonio had already been through today, he couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed so much either. It must have also been when he was with Stacee, but this was even better than what they had before, his heart so light it was soaring.

“How does this Italian food measure up in your opinion?” Stacee grinned across the table at him, twirling pasta in his fork. How he managed to make that mundane action so attractive, Antonio had no idea, but he did know that he was so long past completely done for when it came to Stacee.

“It’s good. Maybe worth actually getting our reservation right next time. I’m not sure a story about a second or third date would work as well on the hostess.”

“Why, you!” Stacee bumped his knee against his under the table. “Still, I deserved that. I’ll get it right eventually.”

“You will. And you have me in the meantime.”

“I do. Anyway, I think this place is all right, but you know what? Doesn’t measure up to your cooking.”

Antonio scoffed through his pleased smile. “Flatterer.”

“It’s true! I can’t wait to be fattened back up by you.”

“What I make is much healthier than what they serve here.” Antonio took a sip of his wine, considering. “But you really could use some fattening up.”

“Yes, nonna-” and now it was Antonio’s turn to kick Stacee under the table.

Stacee insisted that Antonio keep his eyes closed during the entire car ride to their last stop, going so far as to place his hands over his eyes where they were seated in the back.

“Aren’t we just going for drinks?” Antonio protested, though he let Stacee tilt his head back to rest on his shoulder, eyes still covered. “Is it the Bourbon Room? ...too soon?”

“Not this time. C’mon, work with me here. You can make fun of me later if the surprise doesn’t live up to the hype.”

Antonio leaned against Stacee in the darkness, sensing a sort of nervous energy about him that was at odds with how warm and solid he felt behind him. It wasn’t until the car finally stopped and Stacee lifted his hands from his eyes that he understood.

They were outside the very same hotel that had hosted Bassanio and Portia’s wedding reception. The hotel courtyard where they had met for the first time.

Dimly lit by the string lights crisscrossing between the trees, it didn’t look quite as fancy as back when Antonio had spared no expense in arranging for Bassanio’s wedding decorations. But just the sight of the entrance gates had Antonio thinking about the taste of a cosmopolitan cocktail on Stacee’s lips.

“Turns out they have a nice outdoor bar even if there’s no fancy wedding party going on. Live music too.” Stacee grinned somewhat tightly, clearly studying Antonio’s face for his reaction. “Antonio, I don’t want to say we’re starting over because I don’t want to erase or forget how we got here, even if the path we took was bumpy to say the least. So instead, let’s say we’re marking a new beginning here?”

Antonio studied him back, taking in how his features were softened by the gentle glow of the string lights swaying in the wind, his heart full to bursting. “Stacee, I never knew you were such a romantic.”

Stacee laughed with uncharacteristic shyness, a blush playing across his cheeks. “Hell, I didn’t either. What have you done to me, Antonio?”

Antonio responded by pulling Stacee by his lapels over into a deep kiss. If he remembered correctly, they weren’t far from the corner of the courtyard where they had first kissed. This kiss had all of that same hungry desire as their first and then some, but now it was rooted deep in love, love that spread through and sprouted in every corner of his soul, leaving no room for the shame and fear and pain that had plagued Antonio the last time he was here.

“I’m so glad you crashed that wedding party,” said Antonio after they parted.

“Me too. But I didn’t bring you here just to reminisce and make out in a dark corner.” Stacee took his hand and pulled him farther into the courtyard. “I’m serious about that nice bar.”

Resisting the temptation to keep making out behind the bushes, they found the patio where the promised bar was. While the live band was on break, Antonio ordered a cosmopolitan, making Stacee smile and order the same.

“This feels familiar.” Stacee said as they clinked their glasses together. “Has it really been almost a year since that night?”

“It’ll be a year next week.”

They both sipped their drinks in comfortable silence, reflecting.

“You know, I used to think I was living a life of no regrets. I thought if I didn’t care about anything, then nothing could hurt me.” Stacee readily took the comforting hand Antonio offered him. “Stupid way to live, really. I don’t recommend it.”

He thoughtlessly toyed with Antonio’s hand, turning it over and over in his fingers as he continued. “Funnily enough, that made me do so many stupid things that I do regret now, so much. Running away from you, for one. Sending those godawful texts to you. I still don’t know how you can bear to even look at me after what I said.”

“I won’t lie – they were pretty hard to read.” The wound in Antonio’s heart had long since scabbed over, but now it would have a chance to actually heal. Even if he had to pick at it a bit more first. “Honestly, I thought you were trying to let me down easy, ending things without having to call me out for my feelings, since we agreed everything was supposed to be no strings attached.”

“You think too highly of me. I was just scared, trying to drive you away however I could. But you know what’s really messed up? I think deep down, I was hoping you’d go after me.”

Antonio could only stare at him in stunned silence.

“I guess that’s what everyone wants, right? To have the other person take that first step, for them to be brave and cross that bridge for you, to have them still come and find you even after you’ve done everything you could to hurt them and run away. But that was fucking cruel for me to hope that from you. I know that for you, it’s not always easy to say what you want. Let alone after being rejected, especially not after everything you’ve already been through before. I don’t know how to say this, and it’ll never be enough, but I’m sorry.”

“Stacee.” Antonio tightened his fingers around his. “You don’t need to apologize to me. I was scared too. I was too scared to even try and figure out what was going on with you. I should have known that you were already having a hard time back then – you were so upset because you felt stuck with the album-”

“Ah, don’t you dare turn this around back onto yourself. I don’t want you to blame yourself anymore, Antonio. I do need to say it. I’m sorry.”

“Fine. But I’ve already forgiven you.”

“You-” Stacee's smile was equal parts exasperation and fondness. “The crazy part is I know you mean it, even if I’ve done nothing to deserve it.”

“But Stacee, you did. You took that first step. You were the one brave enough for both of us.”

“And you were the one to save my life first. But if I hadn’t figured it out, if I hadn’t come to you, were you really going to just leave it at that forever? Knowing you loved me, doing so much to save me, but never reaching out to me again, never even letting me know?”

“I didn’t think you loved me back.” Antonio’s heart clenched out of habit with the familiar pain, but it was just a shadow now, an already-fading bruise. “So it didn’t matter what I felt.”

Stacee made a strangled noise in the back of his throat and pulled Antonio into a tight embrace. “It does matter. Your feelings do matter. Antonio, I know I don’t deserve you-”

“Don’t say that.”

“Okay, I won’t. But what I mean to say is, somehow you still love me despite everything. And I’ll be damned if I don’t try to live up to your love. I want you to tell me when you're upset, or when there's something on your mind, when there's something you want, when I should be doing better. I want to make you happy. I mean it.”

“You already have. Today was like a dream. This has been one of the happiest days of my life.”

“And for me too.” Stacee squeezed Antonio for a long moment before leaning back with his hands on his shoulders, looking at him seriously. “But maybe it won’t always be ice cream and rainbows. You know me, you know I’m not exactly the most well-adjusted guy. Maybe I don’t know how to love properly, maybe I’ll make another stupid mistake, maybe I’ll hurt you again. God knows that’s the last thing I want, but I know myself better than to promise I can change overnight. If that does happen, I want you to be honest with me and tell me. Tell me how you feel. I never want you to suffer in silence again.”

What Stacee was asking was frightening, running counter to the admittedly sometimes one-sided pattern of so many of Antonio’s relationships. The thought of voicing what he wanted, of making demands, of taking up space was still somewhat terrifying. But Antonio trusted Stacee, and that meant trusting that he truly did want to accept this part of Antonio too, the part Antonio had always tried to bury the deepest. Stacee wanted to let him take up space – he actually welcomed it, had made room in his own heart just for Antonio to come fill.

“All right. But that goes for you too, Stacee.”

“Me? Ha, since when do I have trouble with saying what I want? I probably have the opposite problem, right?”

Antonio gave him a look. “Maybe not what you want, but how you really feel. You never have to put on a happy mask or a show for me. You can tell me when you’re feeling sad or lonely. I don’t want you to feel alone anymore.”

“I... ah. Heavy stuff. What did they put in these cosmos tonight?” Stacee’s eyes welled up with wet brightness even as his mouth twisted into a wobbly smile. “Okay, so that’s two orders of emotional honesty for the both of us, huh?”

“I think we can manage between us.”

They knocked back the last of their cocktails.

“While we’re on the topic of being honest, I guess I do have a confession for you.” Stacee lowered his eyes, looking oddly ashamed. “Back when the tour came back to LA, I went to the Bourbon Room to pester Dennis into telling me about what you were up to, though he refused. I... might have had a bit of a meltdown at the time. Then this kinda shady bouncer who we should really alert Dennis about overheard, and he offered to sell me security tapes they had of you going home with some guys. I, ah, I took him up on the offer.”

The blood rushed to Antonio's face. “You saw that?”

“I'm sorry. It wasn't my proudest moment. Even as drunk as I was, I knew it was wrong to snoop on you like that, but I was so desperate to know. I ended up smashing the flash drive later after I watched everything.”

Antonio supposed he should have been more upset, but Stacee was radiating guilt from every pore of his being, and he knew his regret was genuine. And oddly enough, it was something other than the violation of his privacy that caught on his mind now. Had Stacee actually been jealous? It was such a foreign idea to associate with Stacee, and even more foreign to imagine that it was on Antonio’s behalf. “Did it bother you to see that? Me with other guys?”

“Bother? Ha, that’s one way to put it. I was going crazy with jealousy, like a total hypocrite. You should know, I slept with other people too after we, um, split. But I was really going crazy watching those tapes. I’ve never felt so jealous in my life. I mean, some of those guys were really handsome.”

Antonio bit his lip, pretending to consider Stacee’s words even as some strange dark part of himself soared at the thought of being wanted enough to feel jealous over. “Not as handsome as you.”

Stacee rolled his eyes, though he sagged in visible relief at Antonio’s forgiveness. “So corny. I’m starting to think I may have been a bad influence on you.”

“It’s too late. I’m already tainted.”

“I suppose I’ll have to take responsibility for that, then.”

The band returned to the stage, resuming the show with a lively number that had the other bar patrons taking to the dance floor. Antonio thought of the last time he had watched happy couples dancing here. They had seemed to exist in a completely different world from him, their happiness forever unattainable and out of reach, nothing but a cruel mockery of what he couldn’t have.

He stood up from his barstool and extended a hand palm up to Stacee. “Shall we?”

Stacee looked down at his outstretched hand, over at the dance floor, then back up to his face with wide eyes. “Oh no. I know you’ve seen me shake my ass onstage before, but that’s actually all I can do. This is beyond me.”

Antonio let his lips bunch up in the pout he knew from past experience Stacee would respond to. “I would really like to dance with you. Even if you’re just shaking your ass.”

“Ah, asking for what you want. Touché. Well, I hope no one is taking video of this.” And Stacee took his hand, letting Antonio lead him onto the dance floor.

To his credit, Stacee did attempt to follow Antonio’s lead, though he quickly gave up after stepping on Antonio’s toes for the fifth time. He resigned himself to shaking his ass in place while Antonio sort of danced around him, waving their joined hands together on the beat. Antonio couldn’t be bothered to pay any heed to the curious glances of the other dancing couples, so lost was he in laughter and in Stacee’s eyes.

They continued like that for a few more songs until the band wound down into a slower number, and the couples around them drew closer together, secluding into their own private worlds.

“This, I do know how to do.” Stacee followed their example, putting both hands on Antonio’s waist and pulling him close. Antonio wrapped his arms obligingly around Stacee’s neck, tipping their foreheads together as they swayed to the pendulous rhythm of the music. There was no art to their slow dance, only the beat of each other’s hearts driving their movements as the rest of the world fell away.

Just two days ago, Antonio couldn't have conceived such a scene for himself even in his wildest fantasies. But here he was now, dancing with Stacee in public after a full day together, so intimate and sweet he knew he would never ever be able to extricate himself from this, happily stuck to this man who had turned his life upside down and grasped the very essence of his soul.

Antonio let his head fall to rest on Stacee’s shoulder, breathing in deep his familiar scent mixed with the smell of his own laundry detergent and shampoo as the two of them slowly turned in place, a private world orbiting on its own axis. He felt drunk off the single cocktail and the headier intoxication of love, letting his full weight lean on Stacee, knowing he would support him.

Stacee was content just to hold him close for the rest of the song, but as the next song took on a sultrier rhythm, his hands wandered down from Antonio’s waist to his hips, boldly digging his fingers lower and lower, and he turned his face to kiss the exposed length of Antonio’s neck.

Antonio shivered, his arms tightening around Stacee’s shoulders even as his legs went soft from his touch, kept upright mostly by how he hung onto him. Stacee kissed his neck like they weren’t in public, licking, nipping, sucking shamelessly, and Antonio was glad he wasn’t going back to the office for at least a few more days. He could already feel the marks forming hot along his skin, from under his ear all the way down to his collarbone. Stacee ground his hips against him slowly enough that it could maybe pass as slow dancing from a distance, but Antonio’s body was responding all too readily. He could feel Stacee’s hardness pressing against his hip bone, and his mind blanked out enough that he too almost forgot they were still in public.

“I would like to propose a slight change of plans for the end of this date,” Stacee murmured into his ear. “Instead of going back to your place, do you think that same hotel room might still be open tonight?”

As luck turned out, the room was available, and this time when Stacee casually asked for some condoms and lube from the concierge, Antonio didn’t run away to hide behind the plants in the lobby despite how hot his face was flushing. He was struck by a strange sense of déjà vu at the familiar sight of the hotel room, at how Stacee pounced on him once the door closed behind them and how hungrily he tore off his clothes. But for all that was familiar about this scene, much more was new, and the new seared even more deeply into Antonio’s mind – how tenderly Stacee kissed him, how he ran his hands down his bared skin too slowly for simple lust, how he was glued to him as they both went into the shower after shedding all their clothes.

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“So... shower now or not? If we’re going another round anyway, seems pointless.”

“Give me a bit to recover.” Stacee gasped out, dramatically placing his hand on his chest and wheezing. “You’re going to work me to death, Antonio. I bet everyone thinks I’m the horny one, but they have no idea what a demon you are.”

Antonio rolled onto his stomach next to him. “And who’s to blame for that? Take responsibility, Stacee.” He mustered the strength to lazily run his foot up and down Stacee’s calf with no real intent beyond teasing. Neither of them was in any shape to move beyond that yet.

Stacee just laughed and flopped back over to Antonio again, pulling him onto his side so that they were spooning with his chest pressed against Antonio’s back. He wrapped his arms around Antonio’s waist, snugly fitting the curves of their bodies together. “All right, all right. I’ll try my best to satisfy you. This hotel room can’t be cheap – may as well make the most of it. Hey, if I do a good enough job tonight, can we order room service in the morning?”

“This place is supposed to have an amazing brunch. It was a shame neither of us got to try it last time we were here.”

“Ah, I’d have stayed the night back then if I knew you’d feed me fancy hotel brunch. So many regrets.”

Antonio threaded his fingers through Stacee’s where they were resting on his stomach. “No more regrets.”

Stacee snuggled his face into Antonio’s shoulder, humming low in agreement, the sound trailing off like he was trying to continue their banter despite gradually falling asleep. Antonio struggled for a moment before giving in and settling into Stacee’s embrace, surprisingly strong even in his sleep. There was still the mess spreading between them that they had yet to clean up and the tantalizing prospect of continuing their sex marathon, but all of that could wait. There would be more messes to clean, more sex to marathon – there was no rush now that Antonio had Stacee and Stacee had him and neither of them were going anywhere. Antonio let his eyelids fall closed even as he couldn’t stop smiling.

The only thing that mattered now was Stacee’s arms around him and the thought of brunch together in the morning, and for every morning after that.

DefyingGravity

Aww they finally got together

sedentiment

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever actually been to a baby shower before.”

Antonio’s eyes flickered over to Stacee sitting next to him in the passenger seat, though he didn’t turn his head away from the road, always the conscientious driver. “Think of it as any other party, where we just happen to be giving presents to a baby.”

Stacee snorted, still fiddling with the ribbon on the wrapped present resting in his lap. “I mean, it’s not a bad thing that I’m going to a baby shower. Far from it. I’m Stacee Jaxx – I love strange new experiences. Will we be playing like, bingo and charades or something?”

“What, were you looking forward to party games that much?”

“Yep, nothing I love better than a good round of bingo. Especially after my afternoon tea, you know, the kind that comes with hundreds of little sandwiches and fancy cakes brought by handsome butlers in uniforms.”

Antonio would have rolled his eyes at him if he weren’t so determined to keep them on the road. “I’m not sure what kind of picture of Bassanio and Portia you have in your mind, but they’re definitely not whatever British aristocrats you’re thinking of. It’s going to be casual. Relax.”

Stacee knew that if both Antonio’s hands weren’t fixed firmly on the steering wheel, he would have reached out to still Stacee’s jiggling leg that rattled the box on his lap, but he couldn’t make himself stop. “What do you mean, relax? It’s not like I’m nervous or anything.”

At that, Antonio did turn his head briefly to look at him.

“OK, fine, I admit I’m a bit nervous. A lot nervous, actually. It’s insane. Why do I feel like I’m going to meet the in-laws or something?”

“That... is a conversation for later. But seriously Stacee, you’ll be fine. I do wish you had the chance to meet them before this, but this really is going to be a low-key thing.”

“I just low-key want to make a decent impression on your best friend, no big deal. I mean, you certainly charmed all of my friends well enough. It’s only fair, right?”

“I’m sure you’ll charm the pants off everyone.” Antonio paused, considering. “Well, leave their pants on.”

“There’s only one pair of pants that I want to charm off,” Stacee said automatically. The harmless flirting redirected some of the excess energy of his jittery brain, at least, even if he knew better than to touch Antonio while he was driving, however tempting his thigh next to him was.

“All right, we’re here.” Antonio powered down the car and started to step out of the driver’s side door, but he stopped when he noticed Stacee still hadn’t unbuckled his seatbelt. “Stacee?”

Stacee stared down at the present in his lap. The wrapping was perfect, of course, because Antonio had done it, corners crisp and neatly taped. The ribbon was hot pink, chosen on a whim by Stacee when they were at the store, but suddenly he couldn’t help but worry that it looked out of place against the sensible mint green wrapping paper Antonio had picked, even if Antonio had already reassured him that it was a good combination. Stacee thought it looked good, and Antonio agreed or at least humored him, but would Bassanio and Portia?

“I just want to get this right.” Stacee held the box like it was both a shield protecting him from having to leave the car and a bomb about to blow.

“Oh... come here.” Antonio leaned over to give him a peck on the lips. “You don’t need to impress anyone, Stacee. I’m happy just to have you here with me.

Stacee pulled Antonio into a kiss probably deeper than appropriate for right before a baby shower, but a few moments of Antonio’s obliging mouth opening up for him gave him the courage he needed to finally step out of the car and into the garden venue.

“All right. Now let’s go play some baby-themed charades.”

In all honesty, Stacee had expected to hate Bassanio. This was the guy who had broken Antonio’s heart without even realizing it, supposedly oblivious (though Stacee had his doubts) to his feelings while he reaped the benefits of them. And even though he hadn’t admitted it to Antonio, Stacee privately still couldn’t help but think of him as some sort of romantic rival.

But then again, Antonio had told him about how Bassanio had come around to support him during their time apart and how their friendship had renewed stronger than ever, and that was more than enough to deflate any delusions of jealousy that might have bubbled up in Stacee’s head. He couldn’t even bring himself to call him one of the stupid names he had come up with for him ever since he had heard of the man.

“Stacee Jaxx!” Bassanio was such a cheerful force of nature that it was easy to imagine how a younger, more withdrawn Antonio might have fallen for him back then. Stacee's heart clenched unreasonably for the lonely Antonio of the past. “Wow, I mean I knew you were coming, but it really is something else to have Stacee Jaxx at our baby shower! And to finally see you in person!”

“Just Stacee is fine. I’ve heard a lot about you, Bassanio.” Stacee shifted the gift box to the crook of one arm and warmly shook his offered hand, ignoring the look Antonio shot him as he pronounced the name perfectly.

“All good things, I’m sure. And I’ve certainly heard a lot about you too. Not just because you’re famous, I mean. Tonio is crazy about you, after all. It’s a good thing he got you out of that mess last month.”

“Bas.” Antonio said, both exasperated and fond. “I didn’t do that much anyway. It was mostly Mia. And here, you haven’t even taken your present yet.”

“Congratulations.” Stacee was finally freed of his burden as he passed the box over.

A woman that must have been Portia came over to get a closer look at the present. “Oh, this is such a cute box!” She glanced from the ribbon over to Stacee’s button-up shirt, somewhat more formal than his usual get-up but still the same shade of hot pink, and she said with a grin, “I’ll certainly remember it. Let me guess – Stacee Jaxx?”

Stacee greeted her with all the charm and politeness he could muster. He did feel a strange kind of gratitude towards Portia. After all, if it weren’t for her, Antonio would never have given up on his hopeless unrequited love for good, and more importantly, he and Antonio would never have met. And she was a pleasure to chat with, quick-witted and gracious at the same time. It was easier than he would have thought to fall in with Antonio’s circle of friends, and though Antonio didn’t interject much into their surprisingly lively conversation, Stacee could see how happy he looked that they were getting along.

“Oh, Mia just got here too!” Portia went to give Mia a hug as she approached.

Stacee warmly shook the hand of his former attorney. “Fancy seeing you here, huh?”

“Good to see you in better circumstances.” Mia smiled as her eyes flicked over how close Stacee and Antonio were standing. “Looks like the past month has treated you well. I heard things worked out with you two, but it’s nice to see for myself.”

Stacee casually slung his arm over Antonio’s shoulders, grinning at how naturally Antonio leaned into his touch. “Thank you again for everything you did for me. For us.”

“Happy to help. So what’s on the horizon for you now? I heard Arsenal is getting back together.”

“Well, yes and no. Joey and Andrea and me, we’re going to keep making music together. But there’s kind of a lot of baggage with Arsenal now, so we’re thinking of a new name. We need a new drummer and manager too while we’re at it, but we’re making do with a drum machine and Antonio’s help for now while we’re working on our next album.”

“Wow, Tonio, I never thought your experience with managing the musical theater club back in school would come in handy someday,” Bassanio laughed, elbowing Antonio, who bristled without any real heat.

“It’s just a temporary situation, helping with some logistics while they figure things out,” Antonio explained, to which Stacee nodded emphatically.

“Yes, best not to mix business with pleasure for too long.” Stacee couldn’t help circling his fingers on Antonio’s shoulder. Nothing too scandalous, just showing off because he could. “Though it has been nothing but a pleasure so far.”

Stacee had to bite back a laugh at how awkward Bassanio suddenly looked, but to his credit, he gamely pressed on. “Well, save us all some comp tickets once your new band puts on its first show!”

“Of course. Nothing less than front-row seats for friends of Antonio.”

All in all, as parties went, it was one of the better ones Stacee had been to. The food was worlds better, for one, even if the only alcohol there was some light prosecco, and the company was good, especially because it felt like he was settling in, being accepted by Antonio’s social circle. He even found himself enjoying the party games he ended up getting roped into despite himself. The afternoon whiled away quickly into evening, and before he knew it, it was time to go.

“I never would have thought you’d be so bad at charades.” Stacee smirked at Antonio as they got back into the car.

Antonio waved him off. “You should just be glad I’m there to be worse than you, or you’d be the one they’re making fun of now.”

Stacee kept smiling to himself even as Antonio turned his attention to the road. “So, should I have been calling you ‘Tonio’ this whole time?”

“That sounds so odd coming from you.”

“What, why? I think it’s cute! Tonio, Tonio, Tonio.”

Antonio wrinkled his brow. “Only Bas calls me that. It doesn’t sound right when you say it.”

“Oh, is it the lack of proper Italian pronunciation? But now I feel like it’s only fair if I have a special nickname for you too. What about, hm, Tony?”

The withering glare Antonio gave him said it all.

“Ah, but what if I’m jealous of Bassanio getting to call you something special? Don’t scoff at me, I mean it!”

Antonio kept driving in the measured silence that Stacee knew meant he was working himself up to say something a bit embarrassing but extremely cute. His ears perked up in anticipation.

“The truth is, I really like hearing my name the way you say it. It sounds special enough that you don’t need a nickname.”

Stacee flopped back into his seat, his face unable to contain the stupid grin that split it in two. “What the hell, Antonio, how dare you ever call me corny again.”

“How dare you even think about calling me Tony,” Antonio said with a sweet smile, quickly overcoming his embarrassed flush. “Anyway, we’re home.”

Home.

In some ways it was still a foreign concept to Stacee, but he had settled so quickly and naturally into the patterns of life with Antonio this past month that now he almost had trouble remembering what it was like without him. Home hadn’t really been a thing for Stacee before Antonio, his house no more than the place to crash between the blurred moments of his waking life and where he kept all his things.

Now he had a home, with coasters even, that Antonio had insisted on buying to protect the nice coffee table he had also bought to replace Stacee’s old one, chipped from years of heavy bottles slammed onto its surface. But home wasn’t just the eclectic combination of new furniture that matched Antonio’s sensibilities with Stacee’s eccentricities that decorated his house now, nor just the two toothbrushes next to the sink or the two pairs of house slippers at the front door.

It was the sense of security, of belonging so certain and sure that in truth, he didn’t even feel jealous anymore of a former potential romantic rival for having a special nickname, not when Stacee could make Antonio shiver just by whispering his full name into his ear.

“Wait, wait a moment,” Antonio managed to fend off Stacee’s roving hands long enough to say as they got into bed. “I just wanted to say, thank you again for coming with me today. I know you were worried, but I can tell everyone loved you.”

“Did I charm their pants off then, do you think?” Stacee let his hands wander to the band of Antonio’s briefs that he really didn’t know why he bothered putting on after their shower. Stacee was completely naked after drying off, more than ready for what was to come.

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“All right, all right, you’re Antonio forever now. Never will I say the name Tony ever again.” Stacee readily accepted the wad of tissues Antonio handed him to wipe his face. “Did you always use to be this gross?”

“And who’s to blame for that?” Antonio tapped the tip of Stacee’s nose. “Take responsibility.”

“Oh, but I am. I even went and met the in-laws, so to speak.”

Antonio snorted. “I suppose we do have to have that actual conversation at some point.”

“I suppose we do. But there’s no rush. We have all the time in the world, right?”

“Mm.”

Antonio snuggled up against him, getting sleepy and slow in the way that he always did after sex. Stacee almost couldn’t bear to poke him awake, but they did need to go clean up.

“Hey Antonio, it’s the damnedest thing, but remember what I said back then, about your dick being my muse?”

That certainly woke Antonio up.

“I think it’s still true. Suddenly, I’m getting some ideas for the next album. Take a wild guess what it's going to be about.”

“Is it something that will make me want to smack you? Will it have to come with an advisory warning label?”

“That depends on how sappy you’re feeling.” Stacee wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, his love, his Antonio. “It’ll be about love.”

Your body, your mind, your heart, your soul. What you taught me and what I taught you. The despair when I tried to lose you, the joy when I knew you were mine. The holes in our hearts that we can fill for each other and that we can’t, but that we’ll try our best to ease the ache of. How you gave me a home, how I can be a home for you too.



It’ll be about you.


The End

俩云的电子女儿

救命，我好想看，但是要开学了，英文压根儿看不完，先马住惹

DefyingGravity

完结撒花！congrats on a great wrap!

爱吃苞菜

姐妹你太棒啦！欢迎多多产粮~~~看这个学英语比我看英文书有意思多了！

俩云的电子女儿

俩云的电子女儿 发表于 2021-8-30 22:11
救命，我好想看，但是要开学了，英文压根儿看不完，先马住惹

这样学英语更有动力

惟肆海龙

先收藏了！已经不学英文的我看到通篇英文有点瑟瑟发抖，不过为了看文还是拼了！！

老云家

云次方已经强悍到全篇英语啥也看不懂的地步了吗

traa

天啊！
我从图区过来的！
太太居然是英文写作！但我不懂英语…
我哭了
我现在开始学英语还来得及吗……

尹尔玉

hin想尝试翻译一下哈哈哈哈

sedentiment

sedentiment 发表于 2021-8-30 14:24
“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever actually been to a baby shower before.”

Antonio’s eyes  ...

这是我去年写的纯车PWP番外~ 到现在才记得从 AO3 搬运到论坛

AO3 版本在短信的部分加了一些特别的 html, 能去 AO3看还是更理想哈哈 https://archiveofourown.org/works/33946765


     

Twenty-four unread messages.



Antonio had been so focused on the rows of numbers and figures spanning his multiple monitors that he hadn’t noticed the text notification light going off on his phone. It was only when he finally finished the last spreadsheet and leaned back in his chair to rub his tired eyes that he realized Stacee had been texting him for the last twenty minutes.


From: Stacee Jaxx is Antonio's boyfriend(DON'T DELETE THAT PART AGAIN ANTONIOOOO)
10:48 pm
Antoniooooo~ up for a bit of a late-night snack? :P

Interpret that however u will :D

But dirty interpretations welcome :3

10:53 pm
You’ve been working too hard lately, take a breakkkkk

R u forgetting to look away from the screen again?

Ur gonna need glasses soon

You’d be sexy in them ngl

But if u go blind i can't send u dick pics anymore :’((((

I mean I could but it wouldn't be as fun

11:01 pm
Awww I’m not gonna call since I know ur prob in the middle of smtg

But as ur bf i do reserve the right to spam ur texts

Just picture me waiting outside the office, longing to bring u sustenance

I do actually have food too

11:11 pm
Pls take a break and check ur phone soon, it’s getting kinda cold outside

I think u rly r the last one here, not even a security guard around to shoo me off

U work too hard babeeee

U know I wouldn't mind having u as my kept man~

Jkjk i know i know

I just want u to remember to take care of urself

Heh i guess taking care of u is my job now too

But the offer still stands…B)

11:20 pm
If I freeze to death out here, I froze for love

My only regret was that the food i brought u went cold too :’(((

I even used the panini press and everything





Antonio hastily jabbed the call button as he grabbed his card key and jogged down to the lobby.



“Stacee, you should have called me earlier,” he huffed into his phone as he made his way down the stairs. “It really is chilly out tonight – you’ll catch a cold waiting outside.”



“Babe, you’re being an Italian grandma again,” came Stacee’s laughing reply. “My hot blood is enough to keep the both of us warm. But seriously, are you almost here? I’m afraid my ass might actually freeze off.”



Stacee was easy enough to spot through the glass double doors – even at night, his hot-pink coat stood out like a beacon from where he was pitifully perched on the edge of a nearby planter, the flowers beside him dull in comparison. He was cradling a wrinkled paper bag on his lap, and the whole scene would have made for a forlorn picture if not for the genuine smile on his face.



Antonio hung up the call and waved him over. He frowned at how cold Stacee’s fingers were when he took the bag from him, and he couldn’t help fussing over him, rubbing his hands over his to warm them. “Next time, just call me, and I’ll let you in.”



“I don’t want to interrupt your work.” Stacee pouted but accepted the fussing.



“No work is so important that it’s worth you getting sick.” Two could play at the pouting game, and they made increasingly pitiful expressions at each other until they both burst out laughing. “Shall we eat in the lobby? I can turn on the lights.”



Stacee hummed. “Maybe we should go back up to your office. Did you finish your work? I mean, I assume you did because you finally checked your texts, but just making sure.”



“Yes, I did, don’t worry.”



“Good, good, but still, let’s go up to your office for this snack. Did I mention how good that suit looks on you? A pity you left too early this morning for me to see it properly.” And the way Stacee’s eyes trailed up Antonio’s body made it absolutely clear what kind of snack he had in mind. Antonio shivered, very glad that no one else was still in the office. “Let’s take the elevator, please. I don't know how you always insist on the stairs.”



“Just remember there are security cameras in there.”



“I know, I know.”



Stacee behaved himself remarkably well in the elevator, though he rushed to close his hands over Antonio’s when Antonio started to open the paper bag. “Save it for your office, where there aren’t any cameras.”



Stacee just smirked at Antonio’s cocked eyebrow and didn't say another word until they made their way down the corridor and Antonio securely closed (and locked) his office door behind them.



Antonio finally opened the bag to find inside two neatly wrapped sandwiches, some condoms, and a bottle of lube.



“Surprise!” Stacee grinned at him. “So, which snack shall we have first?”



Antonio considered. He was hungry in more ways than one, after his extremely busy week that had thankfully finally concluded with this last spreadsheet. “Is this the sandwich you make with avocado and egg?”



“Yep, nothing less than your favorite in this trying time.”



“Mm, you know I do love that one, but let’s save the egg for after we fuck.”



Stacee laughed, packing the sandwiches away in Antonio’s mini fridge. “What, you don’t like egg-flavored make-outs?”



Antonio busied himself with saving the open files on his computer in the meantime. In his haste to let Stacee into the building, he had left everything open. “That’s one adventure I think I’ll pass on, thanks.”



Stacee came over to wrap his arms around his waist and rest his chin on his shoulder. “Fine by me. I could use some warming up first after waiting outside, after all.” He peered at Antonio’s screen. “It really is unfair that they call these spreadsheets.”



“Why is that?” Antonio said as he closed the last windows and powered down his machine. He hadn’t bothered to sit in his chair, simply bending over his desk to turn everything off, and now Stacee turned that position to his advantage, pinning Antonio down onto an empty section of desk.



“Well, the word is made up of a lot of sexy parts, isn’t it? Spread and sheets, as in, spread your legs for me on the sheets.” Stacee punctuated that last sentence by playfully nudging Antonio's thighs apart with his knees.



Antonio nearly choked on empty air. “Damnit Stacee, how am I supposed to keep working this job when that’s going to be stuck in my head forever now?”

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They both collapsed in a limp heap by the window, and Antonio felt his eyes closing of their own volition, completely drained, exhausted, and happy.



He really must have dozed off for a second there, because the next thing he knew, he was dressed again and reclining on his couch, with Stacee pressing a sandwich against his mouth.



“Mmf–” the moment he opened his mouth to protest, it was filled with deliciously seasoned avocado and egg.



“I promised sustenance, didn’t I?” Stacee grinned over at him, taking a bite out of his own sandwich. “Here’s the final course of your snack. You’ll forget to eat if I don’t remind you.”



“Whose fault was that?” Antonio grumbled around the mouthful, though he quickly took another bite. Now that he had started eating, he was realizing just how hungry he was. And Stacee did make an excellent sandwich.



“Yours, wasn’t it? You were the one making a fuss about eating before sex–”



Antonio interrupted Stacee with an egg-flavored kiss after all, and it really wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be.

sedentiment

sedentiment 发表于 2022-8-29 06:59
这是我去年写的纯车PWP番外~ 到现在才记得从 AO3 搬运到论坛

AO3 版本在短信的部分加了一些特别的 htm ...

The air conditioner was on full blast, but Stacee had already sweat completely through his shirt. This was one of his nicest shirts too – actual silk, Antonio’s favorite on him. He dreaded having to handwash it later, but he couldn’t put any more silk through the washing machine after the last time he had nearly given Antonio a heart attack doing so.



“This damn airport,” he hissed through gritted teeth. Another car swerved in front of him. Cursing, he slammed the brakes. Maybe if he were still the Stacee of two years ago, he would have rolled down the window and shared his cursing and a healthy middle finger with the asshole who cut him off, but the Stacee that had been through Antonio’s many, many lectures on road rage and defensive driving was a changed man.



Mostly. He still honked the horn in two loud, long blares. “Fuck you” spelled out in horns. Stacee was an artist, after all. He needed to express himself.



“Stacee? Was that you?” Antonio’s voice sounded in the car through the speaker connection.



“Don’t worry, darling, everything’s fine. Which terminal did you say you were at again?”



“7A.”



“I’ll be there soon – oh for the love of –” Another near miss. Come on, buses definitely weren’t supposed to make such sudden movements!



“Stacee?!”



“It’s fine, it’s fine.”



“Should I hang up now? Let you concentrate on driving.”



“No, no, stay on the line. It’ll be hard to dial you again once I reach you and I'm in the middle of pulling over.”



“OK, but be careful.”



This afternoon was rapidly shaping up to be a disaster, contrary to Stacee’s plan. And Stacee had actually planned, for once.



The plan had started out well enough. Stacee had actually been brewing over it for months, and now the perfect opportunity had presented itself. Antonio was finally coming home from his long business trip (he had been gone more than three weeks, nearly a month, much too long in Stacee’s book), and Stacee had resolved to personally pick him up from the airport.



“Are you sure? Traffic’s going to be awful at that time in the afternoon. You know how LAX gets, especially on Fridays.”



“It’ll be fine! I don’t drive that much normally so I don’t mind.”



“You know I can call a car. Work should reimburse it.” Antonio had protested, though he was yawning audibly even through the phone.



“Of course I’m sure! I can hear how tired you are – like I’m going to let you get into some stranger’s car like that!”



“I can sleep on the plane.”



“Bullshit. I know you can never fall asleep on planes.”



Antonio yawned again. “You don’t want to just send your band’s personal assistant?”



“Antonio. Baby. Let me do this for you. I want to do this for you.”



“If you’re sure. I don’t think I can get your car’s mileage reimbursed though. Oh, I’m boarding now – I’ll call you again when I land.”



“I love you.”



“Love you too.” And even over the phone, Stacee had heard the smile in Antonio’s words as he hung up. He had never wavered in his resolve for this, but it only confirmed the conviction that had been growing in him for so long now.



He had it all worked out. Antonio’s plane landed at 5, and the dinner reservation at his favorite restaurant was for 6:30. Stacee had originally wanted to do 6, but he actually remembered to leave some wiggle room for traffic (and felt inordinately proud of himself for doing so. Antonio was rubbing off on him after all.)



The ring in its box dug painfully into his butt. He really shouldn’t have put it into his back pocket before getting into the car. It had somehow managed to migrate to a spot where it poked directly into his sit bone, and his leg was beginning to go a bit numb. But that hadn’t been the least of Stacee’s mistakes this afternoon.



He had just spritzed on some cologne and had been adjusting his hair in the mirror when Antonio had called.



“I just landed, still taxiing. Are you almost here?”



Stacee had nearly jumped out of his skin. Shit! Was it already 5? Wait, he was supposed to arrive at the airport at 5. When did he get the wires crossed in his stupid head and start thinking to himself that he should leave the house at 5? This was why he was so bad at getting anywhere on time without Antonio there to prod him.



“Um… it might be a while… hey, usually it takes forever for planes to finish taxiing and let everyone out right? And you checked your bags, didn’t you? Those luggage carousels always move so slow…”



“Stacee… did you not leave the house yet?” Antonio wasn’t chiding, not yet, but he did sound extremely tired.



Stacee briefly considered lying, winced, then decided against it. “…no. But I’m going out the door now!”



“Seriously, I can just call a car.”



“No! I need to pick you up! Please, just wait for a little while. I’ll be right there!”



“…OK. I’ll take my time picking up my suitcase, then. Drive carefully.”



That had been at 5. Now it was 6:15, and the silk shirt Stacee had put on for his fancy dinner proposal plan was clinging to his skin with sweat.



“Who’s the sadistic bastard that designed this godforsaken airport anyway?” Stacee moaned aloud. “I’ve been stuck in this stupid loop for 30 minutes.”



“Be patient, you’ll make it here eventually.” Antonio really sounded like he would be falling asleep if not for having to stay on the line with Stacee.



“You’re at 7A and I’m still stuck here at 1B. 6 more numbers to go. It might take another hour at this rate.”



“Maybe I should walk over to you.”



“Oh wait, I think I can take a shortcut here! If I turn to where the parking lot is…”



“…was that the GPS saying you took a wrong turn?”



“No, it’s fine, it’s just a shortcut. I’ll just go past P7 to end up at the terminal. This will save an hour!”



“Stacee…”



“I’m here! I think. Wait, where are you?”



“I’m at the curb, right by the column that says 7A on it.”



“Uh, no you’re not. A bunch of kids on a field trip or something just got off their bus. Do you see them? They’re all wearing bright yellow shirts, should be easy to spot.”



“Got off their bus? Oh no… Stacee… are you on top or bottom?”



Stacee blinked. “Top, I guess… but Antonio my love, this is maybe the one time in my life where I don’t want to be thinking about sex. Rain check for tonight though?”



“Stacee! I mean are you on the upper departures level or the lower arrivals level!”



“Wait, what? Oh… oh shit. I guess I am on top.”



“Why did you go there? My plane is arriving, not departing.”



“Fuck, I’m sorry babe, I just realized where I fucked up. The line for the on-ramp was just so much shorter in this lane. I thought it would be faster. I guess… fuck, I guess I forgot to change over.”



Antonio sighed, his saintly patience starting to wear thin. Stacee couldn’t blame him. “You’ll have to drive around the whole loop again to get to the lower level. Just. Please be careful.”



“Wait, I’ll just turn into the parking lot! I’m right here – the parking lot should be able to let me down to the lower level, right?”



“I don’t think –”



“I’m in – oh shit, do I have to pay for this ticket?”



“…it should be free if you leave in the first fifteen minutes. But Stacee, I really don’t think you can –” Antonio’s voice petered out in a static buzz.



“Antonio? Antonio?! Oh fuck, the fucking parking lot building is blocking reception, isn’t it?” Stacee’s knuckles went tight around the steering wheel, slippery and clammy from the cold sweat of his palms. “Okay, Stacee Jaxx, you got this. You’ve done five world tours and six national ones. You can figure out how to get through this parking lot to pick up your boyfriend – well hopefully, fiancé. Shit, maybe not after this fiasco.”



Unfortunately, Stacee hadn’t been the one driving for any of those tours. At least he managed to make it to the entrance of the parking lot (the same way he had come) before the fifteen free minutes were up.



“Why the hell does the parking lot even have multiple levels if I can’t get to the lower level from here?!”



“Stacee, where are you?”



At least exiting the parking lot meant he could hear Antonio again on the phone.



“Um… I think I’ll have to go around the loop.”



Antonio didn’t answer in the way that Stacee knew meant he was gathering his breath and his thoughts before speaking. His brow would be furrowed, his lips drawn tight.



“My phone’s at ten percent battery – I need to hang up. You should be able to spot me when you get here. I’m wearing my olive green bomber jacket.”



“Wait, Antonio, which lane am I supposed to go into again – ”



– CRASH –



Stacee was rudely jolted forward, his nose smashing into the steering wheel as his car was hit from behind. The impact sent his car bumping into the car in front too, and his phone flew off the seat, unplugging itself from the car link and hanging up the call.



“Shit!” Stacee felt wet warmth drip onto his chest from his nose, and he looked down to see dark red spreading on the delicate pink of his silk shirt. “Shit!!!”



He had half a mind to just try and drive around the assholes he had hit, since it couldn’t have been more than a fender bender at the traffic-jammed speed they were going at, but they were already getting out of their cars and pulling out their wallets. Looked like there was no getting out of this after all. Stacee furiously threw the car into park and tugged open the door.



“What the hell,” the woman who had hit him from behind said by way of greeting. “Why did you swerve in front of me like that? That was definitely your fault. Everyone saw that, right? It’s his fault!”



“Why were you following so close to me?” Stacee shot back, pressing the heel of his hand to his bleeding nose. “Haven’t you ever heard of a safe following distance?”



“You’re one to talk – you were right up my ass!” The man in front whom Stacee had hit chimed in.



Stacee felt his temper rising, the urge stirring to jump into an argument and let loose all of the stress that had been building up this entire afternoon– but he felt the box digging into his back pocket. He wiped at his bleeding nose furiously, then cursed as he realized he only succeeded in getting blood onto the sleeve of his silk shirt too. “Shit, I don’t have time for this. Just take my insurance info and go.” He reached into his other back pocket for his wallet.



Wait, where the hell was his insurance card? There was his license, his credit card, the loyalty card for Antonio’s favorite café, the loyalty card for the Bourbon Room that Lonny had given him as a joke, and the stamp card with only one stamp on it for that ice cream place that they only went to once that neither of them liked but Stacee couldn’t bear to throw out since every time he saw it, it made him remember the cute way Antonio had scrunched his nose in distaste at the disappointing tiramisu flavor… but no insurance card.



Oh God, was that the cops coming over? Of course – they were everywhere in this airport, and he just had to crash the car in front of them. Shit shit shit, he had to show them his license and proof of insurance, didn’t he? And one more, what was it? Registration? Stacee had no fucking clue where that would be.



Then the man in front peered closer at his face. “Wait, you look so familiar… no fucking way, are you Stacee Jaxx?”



Stacee blinked. Of all the times to be recognized… Well, maybe the man would let him go without a fuss if Stacee used his star power. He wiped his nose again and smiled weakly. “That’s me.”



The man pulled out his phone, clearly starting to film. “No shit – hey,everyone, can you believe this? I just got rear-ended by Stacee Jaxx! This is crazy! Heyyyy – can you sing that song? What’s the name, it goes dah nah nah nah…”



A crowd was forming now, and not just the typical busybodies rubbernecking a car accident. There was an alarming number of phones out, recording for posterity Stacee in his sweaty and now bloody, absolutely ruined silk shirt.



Just as Stacee was about to burst into tears, an angel entered his peripheral vision.



Well, it was Antonio, but that was the same in Stacee’s book.



Stacee wasn’t sure he had ever seen Antonio move so fast before, scrabbling, climbing, and jumping over all the cars of the surrounding gawkers to get to him. He supposed he must have simply followed the hubbub to find him.



“Stacee!” Antonio cried when he reached his side. He looked a mess, his hair mussed and sweaty (no doubt from running across multiple terminals and street lanes), his jacket falling off his shoulders, his eyes wild and bloodshot from lack of sleep and starting to brim with tears.



He was so beautiful Stacee could cry.



Despite having waited on the curb for almost two hours because of Stacee’s stupidity, Antonio immediately wrapped him into a tight hug before drawing back to check him over. “Are you ok? When I heard that crash and the call dropped, I thought… I thought… oh God, are you bleeding?!”



“I’m fine. It's just a nosebleed and I'm just stupid. I missed you. So much.” Stacee hugged him back. “I’m sorry I ruined your favorite shirt. And made you wait for two hours.”



“I’m just glad you’re ok.” Antonio smiled, still looking shaky as he hastily wiped away some of the tears that had fallen. “I missed you too.”



“I don’t know where the proof of insurance is. Or the registration,” Stacee hiccupped, which turned into a full sob. Antonio immediately pulled him into a tight embrace, patting him on the back.



“Didn’t I tuck them into the inner pocket of your wallet? They kept falling out whenever you took out your credit card. You’ve got to get rid of some of those useless stamp cards.”



“Oh right. I always forget my wallet has that hidden pocket thing. How did I even survive before I met you?”



“Good question,” Antonio scoffed, already taking Stacee’s wallet from his shaking hands and flipping through it, but there was no heat in it.



It was a testament to how well Antonio had adapted to being a celebrity’s boyfriend that he was barely even fazed by the busybodies taking photos of him as he fussed over Stacee and swapped the appropriate insurance information with the drivers he had hit.



Of course, Stacee had already established that today was absolutely goddamn awful. Just as he was thinking they finally might be able to leave, even more police and security cars started swarming over the entire airport, broadcasting over loudspeakers for everyone to stay in place. From what Stacee managed to gather, they were going under a security lockdown.



“Not again,” the man who Stacee had hit groused. “Just last month this happened. Some idiot left their bags to go to the bathroom, and of course security had to assume it was a bomb or something.”



Antonio froze next to Stacee.



“Wait, Antonio… where’s all your stuff?” Now that Stacee thought about it, Antonio had been completely empty-handed when he had dashed across the street to find him. He didn’t even have his usual travel handbag on his shoulder.



“I… I didn’t even think. I guess I must have just… left everything there.”



“Antonio…”



“What?! I thought you were in a car crash! I couldn’t think straight!” Antonio sputtered defensively, and Stacee’s heart felt full to overflowing.



“It’s not that. It’s just… you really do love me to distraction, don’t you?”



That cut Antonio off, flustering him even more in the middle of his flustered explanations. Despite his adorable blush, his words were confident once he gathered himself.



“Well, of course. Do you even have to ask?”



Stacee pulled him into a quick kiss, heedless of the way all the onlookers rapidly raised their phones again. “I don’t. But I like to hear it anyways. You know I love feedback.”



“Yes, yes, Mr. Artist.” Antonio rolled his eyes, hopelessly fond.



“Okay, let’s see if we can get to your bags before security slashes them open or something.”



Antonio winced. “Please. That handbag is Italian leather…”



Stacee and Antonio did their best to explain the situation to the nearest security, and they were escorted with great suspicion through the swarming security guards. At least it helped that one of the guards did seem to recognize Stacee. He certainly wasn’t above taking advantage of his fame in this situation. They found that indeed, it had been Antonio’s haphazardly strewn bags on the curb that had triggered the lockdown. Luckily, they did get there in time before anyone took a knife to Antonio’s precious Italian leather, but there was still a lot to get sorted out, and the both of them had to go through a ridiculously thorough questioning (made longer by the unprofessional request from the guard who had recognized him for an autograph and a photo, but Stacee obliged as graciously as he could. Loyal fans were hard to come by, after all.)



Finally, finally, Stacee left this goddamn airport with Antonio in tow, minus the bumpers on the back and front of his car. Antonio collapsed into an exhausted heap in the front seat as Stacee was loading his troublesome luggage into the trunk, and by the time Stacee made it to the freeway on-ramp, Antonio’s eyes were already sliding shut. Before Antonio fell asleep for real, Stacee cleared his throat.



“I actually made dinner reservations for 6:30. Do you think…”



“Stacee, it’s already past 9 pm.”



Stacee sighed and fidgeted in his seat, the damn ring box still digging into his ass. He let Antonio drift off to his well-deserved sleep. At least traffic had finally died down by now, and Stacee was free to mull over the charred remains of his plan.



Stacee really was still kind of a disaster of a human to the point that it was impressive. He had managed to turn his romantic plans of a heartfelt airport reunion and candlelit marriage proposal into a car accident and full-blown security lockdown. Footage of the two of them looking unhinged and standing next to their newly bumper-less car was surely already all over the internet by now.



And still, Antonio had thrown aside all his Italian leather bags in a heartbeat to run across traffic for him.



There was never any doubt. But he still did have to ask.



He wanted to ask.



Antonio slept the way he only did when Stacee was driving, completely dead to the world. If he were awake, he surely would have scolded Stacee for constantly looking over at him in the passenger seat instead of keeping his eyes on the road. But Stacee couldn’t help it. Antonio was just too adorable, his brow finally uncreased in sleep, his mussed hair still clinging to his forehead from his sweaty panic earlier, his forming stubble starting to tint his jaw blue-grey.



He wanted to spend the rest of his life with this man.



Antonio’s stomach was grumbling as Stacee gently shook him awake after he pulled into their garage. Oh right, he hadn’t eaten yet, thanks to one of Stacee’s many fuckups of the day. Once upon a time, Stacee might have berated himself at that, spiraled down the old, well-worn path of self-hatred, of thinking that Antonio deserved better than a human disaster like Stacee. While Stacee obviously still thought Antonio deserved nothing but the best, they hadn’t gotten to this point without Stacee believing deep in his soul that Antonio loved him, that Antonio had chosen him despite all the trials and tribulations on their way here and that they would continue to face. And to doubt in himself was to doubt Antonio, which he would never do.



Rather than waste time recriminating himself, Stacee briskly set to boiling water for the frozen dumplings they kept for occasions like these. He hustled Antonio into a dining chair and busied himself with setting the table as Antonio yawned and sleepily blinked himself into wakefulness.



Stacee hesitated, then pulled out a candlestick from the cabinet of fancy dinner party silverware (most of which had been Antonio’s purchases or his things from before he had moved in). Antonio raised his eyebrows as Stacee lit it and placed it between their plates of boiled dumplings.



“What’s all this about?”



“What, can’t a man enjoy his frozen dumplings by candlelight? These are lamb, you know. Fancy enough to warrant the candlelight treatment. Hurry up and eat! I know you haven’t had anything since breakfast.”



Antonio did as bidden, though his eyes were questioning.



Stacee had a hard time getting much food down, suddenly nervous. When was the perfect moment to strike? After the meal? But Antonio was already about to fall asleep as it was – after he was done eating, he’d surely be done for. Before the meal? He already missed his chance – Antonio was halfway through his plate already. During the meal? When both their lips were greasy with dumpling juice?



Maybe he should play the whole thing off and reschedule this for when he actually succeeded at getting their nice dinner. Get Antonio the picture-perfect romantic proposal that he deserved.



But Stacee didn’t want to wait any more. Maybe the perfect moment would never come. What mattered was how he felt, and how he knew Antonio felt. How he had wanted to cry (and how he did) seeing Antonio scrabbling over those cars to get to him. How Antonio’s face had lit up in relief at seeing him, the man who had made him wait two hours and had nearly given him a heart attack over the phone. How Antonio, who had been up for more than twenty hours already because he couldn’t fall asleep on planes, was able to pass out almost instantly in the car once Stacee was by his side.



Who was he kidding –Stacee knew that with him, there would never be the picture-perfect moment. There was only the real, raw messiness of their lives together, and Stacee wouldn’t ever want to trade it away, not even for the most picturesque storybook scene in the world.



Enough overthinking – he was Stacee Jaxx – he seized the moment! And he knew he would never regret this.



“Did you drop something on the floor?” Antonio looked down in puzzlement as Stacee abruptly knelt in front of him.



Then his jaw dropped as Stacee fished out the box from his back pocket. At least it hadn’t been squashed by the day’s events.



“Antonio. This isn’t how I planned this. I should be asking you this in your favorite restaurant right now, over fancy dessert and champagne with a nice view of the city lights. And maybe I should have waited until I could give you that. But I don’t want to, because all I could think of throughout the disasters of today was that I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”



Antonio dropped his chopsticks onto the floor with a clatter, forgotten as his hands flew up to his trembling mouth, and his eyes widened and welled up with tears.



“Antonio Veneziano, will you marry me?”



Antonio made a choked, whimpering sound before he cleared his throat to give his answer.



“Yes. Yes! Oh God, yes!” And he pulled Stacee up from his kneeling position into a fierce kiss, dumpling grease and all.



“Wait,” Stacee gasped when they finally broke the kiss. “I didn’t put the ring on your finger yet.”



Antonio obligingly presented his left hand, and Stacee managed to quell the excited shaking of his own hands long enough to get the ring out of the box without fumbling too badly. It slipped over Antonio’s ring finger so easily that for a second, Stacee feared he had even gotten the ring size wrong, but it only was the smudge of grease from the dumplings facilitating the slide.



Antonio beamed down at his hand, eyes sparkling with his tears. “It’s pink!”



“Did you expect anything else from me? I asked them for the pinkest diamond they could grow. Well, if you don’t like it, we can always get something different for the wedding band.”



“It’s perfect.” Antonio tilted his hand this way and that, considering. “Though for our wedding band, I wouldn’t say no to adding some green in there too. Maybe some emerald or opal, something a bit more on the blue side.”



“Always with your particular tastes.”



“You’re talking to me about particular tastes?” Antonio finally tore his eyes away from the ring to look at Stacee’s face, and they both burst out laughing.



Stacee didn’t know why he had been so nervous, when he had known all along what Antonio’s answer would be. Still, having it declared out loud, in the proof now on both their fingers, was an assurance that anchored deep and warm in his heart.



“We didn’t even finish eating yet,” Antonio laughed. “Your sense of timing is always the best.”



“Hey, after all that excitement, isn’t it great that we still have some more food to calm down and settle ourselves?” But Stacee was laughing along with him, and they scarfed down the cooling remainder of their meal together.



Stacee cleared the dishes and cleaned the kitchen while Antonio did his best to rescue Stacee’s poor silk shirt with some extremely specific detergent he happened to have in the house (because of course he did.) Miraculously, he did manage to get all the bloodstains out, and if there were any traces remaining, they blended into the patterned pink of the shirt anyway. He left the shirt to air-dry on the towel rack as the two of them got into the bath together, treating themselves to an indulgent soak after the day they had had.



They both stripped down to nothing but the matching rings they now both bore. Stacee gladly let Antonio be the little spoon as they sat in the tub together, and he wrapped his arms around his lover – now fiancé – in the warm water, scented lightly with the lavender aromatherapy oils Antonio had dropped in. He ran his hand down the length of Antonio’s arm to intertwine their left hands, admiring how their rings looked next to each other.



“So do you want to be Mr. Jaxx? Or should I be Mr. Veneziano now?” Stacee murmured into Antonio’s ear. With Antonio’s back pressed to his chest like this, he could clearly feel how Antonio shook with gentle laughter.



“Why not… Veneziano-Jaxx? Or Jaxx-Veneziano? Hm, that might need some workshopping. A lot of workshopping. Then again, it would be rather professionally inconvenient for either of us to change our names at this point.”



“As long as I can call you Mr. Jaxx in bed from time to time, I’m all good.” Stacee took the chance to move their joined hands down, down to between Antonio’s legs.

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He dried both of them off, then bundled Antonio up into his pajamas and onto bed, tucking himself into the blankets right next to him. Stacee was falling asleep himself now too, but he couldn’t resist tracing his finger over the profile of Antonio’s nose before drifting off.



“I really do wish I managed to pull off the perfect proposal though. You deserve nothing but the best.”



Antonio’s nose twitched, and he blearily blinked awake only long enough to respond, his words sleep-slurred. “Then we’ll go there later and you can propose to me again. We have all the time in the world. It’ll work out…” His voice trailed off as he fell back asleep, leaving Stacee stunned.



“Have our cake and eat it too? Why the hell not,” Stacee murmured, mind finally ready to let go of the day as he joined Antonio in slumber.



The next morning as they were still lazing in bed (it still counted as morning if it was before noon, even if only by a few minutes), Stacee got a text from a number he didn’t recognize.



“Confirming my reservation for… 6:30 pm today? The hell?”



“Stacee? Did you make a new reservation already?”



“No? I never even canceled the one from yesterday… unless… oh wait.”



“Don’t tell me you actually made the reservation for today all along.”



Stacee swore and checked his email again. Indeed, Monday of this week he had placed a reservation for… Saturday. Which was today. Not yesterday when he had been planning to take Antonio.



Antonio laughed and pulled Stacee by the hand out of bed. Their rings sparkled in the morning sunlight. “I told you, it’ll all work out. And now maybe this time I can propose to you.”



Stacee rolled his eyes but let himself be pulled along. “Don’t tell me you’re upset I beat you to it! But yes, I’ll marry you, Antonio.”

sedentiment

sedentiment 发表于 2022-8-29 07:04
The air conditioner was on full blast, but Stacee had already sweat completely through his shi ...

Stacee Jaxx was engaged to be married.



Stacee Jaxx was engaged to be married.



Stacee Jaxx was engaged to be married.



“I know you are,” Antonio looked up at him over the top of his laptop, his eyes creased into smiling crescent moons. “Funny coincidence, I’m engaged to be married too.”



Stacee stuffed another bite of eggs and bacon into his mouth. “You don’t say? Well, who’s the lucky man?”



Antonio reached out to wipe away a glob of egg from Stacee’s chin with his thumb. “Kind of a dork who sometimes talks with his mouth full and gets food on his face.”



“That’s too bad for you. I’m marrying the cutest, sweetest, loveliest man on the planet~”



Antonio groaned and pushed the screen of his laptop higher to block Stacee from his view across the kitchen table, but not before Stacee caught the helpless smile curling his lips.



“Though tragically, my fiancé insists on bringing work to breakfast. On a weekend, no less.”



At that, Antonio lowered his screen apologetically. “Sorry, it shouldn’t be much longer. Just need to write this one last email, then we can head out.”



“Hurry up before it gets too hot.” But honestly, Stacee wasn’t in a rush. While he would never understand the particulars of exactly what Antonio did all day, he did love to simply watch him at work, appreciating the way his brows scrunched in focus and how, without realizing it, he occasionally pursed his lips into the cutest pout when he was concentrating. Even if Stacee did still think Antonio spent too much time working during what should be his personal time. Though to be fair, Antonio had been doing his best lately to set clearer boundaries on his schedule, in no small part thanks to Stacee’s constant wheedling. It wasn’t perfect, but hey, they were both still works in progress.



As promised, Antonio did only take five more minutes to wrap up his task, and soon enough they bundled into Antonio’s car, Stacee in the passenger’s side with Antonio at the wheel.



“You know, I probably could have gotten the band’s assistant to help with this,” Stacee said offhand. “She could have at least dropped us off or something.”



“The parking there’s not that bad,” Antonio replied without looking at him, eyes fixed on the road as usual. “They actually have a big parking garage. And it’s so early, I’m sure there’ll be plenty of space.”



“As long as you don’t mind,” Stacee hummed, settling into his seat.



“Well, it’s for selfish reasons too. I don’t want to have your assistant there for our date.”



Stacee grinned, piqued by the idea of Antonio arranging such a quaint date. “A date to the mall, huh? This brings back high school memories.”



“Rodeo Drive is not a mall.”



“I mean… it kinda is, isn’t it? Basically an outdoor mall for rich people. And tourists. It’s not like you even normally do your shopping there.”



“I don’t. But for your first red-carpet event, you need something showy. Flashy.”



“Aren’t I always showy and flashy?”



“Yes, but you know, for this you want to…”



“Add a bit of expensive to the mix?”



“Your words, not mine.”



Stacee smiled fondly over at him. He really didn’t think this was such a big deal. It wasn’t like Arsenal was going to be that big a part of the red-carpet premiere. None of the band was showing up in the movie itself. They had merely licensed one of their classic songs for the end credits music and were set to record a new arrangement to fit the film.



But Antonio had been strangely eager about their shopping trip date, and Stacee was nothing if not an indulgent boyfriend – no, fiancé. He’d really have to get used to thinking that.



“Did you ever go on mall dates when you were in high school?”



“No, I was too busy studying.”



“Nerd,” Stacee said fondly.



“And, you know, coming to terms with my sexuality.”



“Well, nothing like making up for lost time. Heal our inner children with consumerism, or something like that.”



“Even if that doesn’t work, at least we’ll get you a good outfit. One less thing for you to worry about with everything going on now.”



“I don’t worry,” scoffed Stacee. He reconsidered. “I’m not worried. It’s just, fine, you’re right – there has been a lot on my plate lately. All good things, don’t get me wrong. But still a lot.”



Life was good. Better than Stacee had ever thought it could be. He was engaged to be married to the love of his life, his band had gotten back together (minus their murdered manager and murderous drummer), their first comeback EP had solid reviews (but more importantly, he had been proud of his work in a way he hadn’t in a very, very long time), and the first three pages of his top search results were finally cleared of the news about last year’s trial.



Good as things were, though, they did also mean more work. Arsenal’s recent success had led to a movie studio noticing their comeback and hiring them for this song. Trouble was, Arsenal was still looking for a new drummer (the drummer they had hired temporarily for the EP was solid but didn’t have that spark of true chemistry with the rest of them, and aside from that, was already fully booked elsewhere), and Stacee had spent many nights lately going through what felt like the sample tracks of every drummer in the game, listening through his headphones so he wouldn’t disturb Antonio working next to him (although he did still solicit Antonio’s opinion every once in a while. Antonio could use the stretch and eye breaks anyways.)



For the most part, Stacee was adapting well to the recent upswing in his work. There had definitely been some growing pains in his adjustment period, as he had let himself grow idle and fallow in that dark period of his life before he met Antonio, but he did feel some of his youthful energy returning to him now, bolstered by Antonio’s encouragement and inspired by his work ethic.



But despite his happiness as of late (or perhaps because of it), Stacee couldn’t help feeling occasionally haunted by a vague sense of dread. He knew he was being irrational, that he had been too accustomed to how the hollow pleasures of his old life had always collapsed quickly, so that even now as he built a solid foundation for his happiness, he was still conditioned to expect another fall.



Who knew that true happiness took so much getting used to?



“We’re here.”



Antonio neatly parked the car, and Stacee took his hand as they waited for the elevator up. His fiancé’s warm palm, solid and soft all at once, anchored him, helping to tamp down his troubled thoughts.



There weren’t as many tourists as Stacee was worried there would be. Only one dared to ask him for a photo, which Stacee agreed to after Antonio’s nod. Even at his worst, Stacee had never been the type to be rude to his fans, and Antonio had always been understanding of these moments.



Antonio reached for her phone, assuming he would be the one to take the picture for them, but Stacee and he were taken aback when she instead stood next to them and outstretched her arm for a selfie. “Can I take a picture with both of you, actually?”



“Me?” Antonio had honest-to-God turned to look back over his shoulder, as if the fan had been addressing some other celebrity hiding behind him. “You want a photo with me?”



“Yes! I’ve been an Arsenal fan since way back, and you have no idea how excited all of us are for you and Stacee!”



“Oh, um,” Antonio said weakly, blushing a deep red. “Thank you.”



Stacee instinctively stepped in front of Antonio. “Thanks for your support. But you know, my fiancé isn’t a celebrity. So even though I did announce our engagement recently, we’d prefer it if you respect his privacy.”



“Oh! Sorry, I didn’t mean to cross any lines! It’s just, ever since that article came out about, erm, your trial last year, I guess we fans started to think of Antonio as a celebrity too.”



Antonio somehow managed to blush even redder at the mention of the article. The long-form article had been surprisingly fair and even favorable to Stacee, probably the first time he had received such sympathetic coverage in the news. Stacee had been depicted as a fallen star who had been betrayed by those he trusted but had miraculously managed to reverse his fortunes after he had been at his lowest. From the way the article wildly speculated that Antonio might be to thank for providing a lot of support for his comeback, Stacee was sure that the article wasn’t adhering to very strict journalistic standards (though to be fair, they weren’t far off the mark from the truth).



As for Antonio, he had been painted as a selfless, noble hero. The writer had somehow managed to ferret out some of the more private details of Stacee’s trial, like how Antonio had secretly been the one to hire the lawyer that ultimately uncovered the truth leading to his acquittal, and even how despite having been pretty much dumped by Stacee months earlier, Antonio had done it all anonymously without any expectation of Stacee ever returning his affections or even his appreciation. (If the article was critical of Stacee at any point, it was here where the writer rambled on about how Stacee had tried to throw away the best thing that had ever happened to him. Again, uncomfortably close to the truth.) Of course, the article had gone on to reveal that despite Antonio’s best efforts at nobly martyring himself without any reward, Stacee had found out and rekindled their relationship, which was the start of his upward turn for the better. A few paparazzi photos of the two of them later (including a truly horrifying shot of Stacee with a bloody nose after he had crashed his car picking up Antonio from the airport last month), the article concluded with the happy news of their engagement.



(It hadn’t taken long for Stacee to figure out his bandmates were the ones who had accidentally leaked the information.



“Hey, I really never planned on saying that much, but that reporter was extremely hot, and she bought us a lot of extremely expensive alcohol. I really do hope no one bothers Antonio, though. He doesn’t deserve that.” Andrea had said, setting up her bass guitar as Stacee questioned them before they started practice for the day.



“And I do?” Stacee had scoffed.



Their rhythm guitarist Joey chimed in. “Can’t be that bad compared to what you put us through over the years. And the reporter had already done most of her research on Antonio after you announced your engagement yourself. We just accidentally let slip his whole dramatic martyr plan. But yea, I am sorry if the paparazzi start stalking Antonio now that everyone loves him for being the big hero. Though I gotta say, he does look good on camera. Better than you, anyway. That airport shot… woof.”



Stacee had rolled his eyes and swatted him on the back of the head for that. “Shut up and start practicing already.”



But it was good to be back on friendly teasing terms with both of his remaining bandmates, to be able to forgive and move past mistakes between them again.)



Antonio cleared his throat, bringing Stacee back into the moment. “Actually, um. I don’t really mind.”



Both the fan and Stacee turned to look at him, startled.



“I mean, it sort of comes with the territory of marrying a famous rock star, doesn’t it? And you did invite me to come with you to your red-carpet premiere, so… I might as well start getting used to posing for photos.”



The fan all but squealed and lost no time in quickly snapping a photo with the two of them, no doubt trying to do so as quickly as possible before either Stacee or Antonio rescinded their permission.



“You’ll never hear the end of it now,” Stacee gently chided Antonio. “There’s being polite to my fans, and then there’s freely throwing yourself to the wolves.”



“I really don’t mind that much. I’m sure it’s probably only your hardcore fans that would recognize me, anyway. It’s not like I’m not getting stopped in the street anytime soon unless you’re there too.”



“Well, if you’re really sure.”



“And,” Antonio’s gaze shifted off to the side, embarrassed. “I… kind of like it. When it feels like you’re happy to be seen with me.”



Stacee’s grin felt like it stretched across his entire face. “If that’s how you feel, then you should know I’ll never get tired of showing you off.”



Thankfully, they made it to their first stop without any more excitement – a fashion label that Antonio favored for many of his suits, which Stacee had to admit normally looked good enough on Antonio to overcome his misgivings about stepping into such a stuffy-looking shop.



But he had to draw the line somewhere.



“Oh, this store is not going to work. It’s not like I’m going to a business conference! And where’s the pink?”



“Come on, they do have a selection of showier suits too. Just try one for me?”



“All right, all right. Since you asked.”



“Here, this one is pink. Kind of.”



“It’s a light maroon at best.”



Despite his grumbling, Stacee obliged him and took the Italian silk suit into the dressing room.



Okay, looking at himself in the mirror, he had to admit he did look sharp as hell. Even if he didn’t quite feel like himself when he emerged from the dressing room to Antonio’s pleased gasp.



“That good, huh?”



“Hush. Let me have this for a moment.” Antonio took his phone out and circled around Stacee, snapping more pictures than a paparazzi. Stacee obligingly struck the best handsome poses he could, making Antonio shake with helpless laughter when he made a finger gun under his face and cocked an eyebrow.



“You really do look good in this. Even though I know it’s not exactly your thing.”



Stacee watched their reflections in the mirror as Antonio sighed, adjusted the collar for him, and took a few more pictures. Antonio’s eyes had truly lit up to see him wearing this suit.



He turned to the attendant who was furiously struggling to keep a straight face and pretend he wasn’t watching their antics. “I’ll take this one.”



Antonio gaped at him. “This can’t be your red-carpet choice!”



“Don’t worry, it’s not. But you like seeing me in this, don’t you? A little treat, just for you.”



Checking out at the register, the price tag made Stacee realize it was more than just a little treat. But hell, Antonio deserved nothing but the best. And this movie end-credits song deal was pretty handsome anyway. Hopefully Stacee wouldn’t have to remember how to make a budget just yet.



Antonio was still beaming as they left the store. Stacee felt odd to have spent that much money and walk out of the store empty-handed, but the store was fancy enough that after Stacee had bought the suit, they had a tailor take his measurements so the suit would be altered and sent to their address later.



The street was beginning to fill up a bit more now, and the many fashionably dressed people strutting around provided plenty of entertainment as Antonio and Stacee walked to the next store on their list. Some of the more adventurous outfits gave even Stacee food for thought. He was honestly impressed by how much work a few clasps and ties could do these days to hold dresses together against the powers of gravity and momentum, to the point he probably couldn’t help staring a bit. He might have to up his game if he wanted his own fashion to stay cutting edge. Then again, no one else had ever utilized hot-pink animal prints quite like he did.



“Do you see something you like?”



Antonio asked the question completely innocently, without the slightest hint of any accusation, but Stacee’s blood still turned to ice in his veins from the thousand other contexts he had heard such loaded words in. He couldn’t help but even be a bit hurt by the question, especially right after he had dropped several grand on a suit just because Antonio had liked how it looked on him.



“Darling, you know you’re the only one in my eyes,” he tried to say it like he was playing it off, but maybe a bit of that hurt did carry through, because Antonio immediately sputtered.



“Oh no! That’s totally not what I meant… I mean, first of all, I know that,” and Antonio squeezed Stacee’s hand in his to reassure him. “What I meant was, did you see any outfits that you liked? Maybe as inspiration for your red-carpet look?”



Stacee’s blood went from ice to hot, suddenly ashamed of himself for misinterpreting Antonio’s intentions. “Hmm, well, I’m not sure if influencer clubbing outfit is the direction I should be going for. Hey, here’s the store.”



There must have been a rare lapse in Antonio’s usually thorough research, because the store they entered had mostly women’s clothing.



“Sorry, I forgot this label has a separate storefront for the men’s collection.”



“That’s fine. We still have plenty of time today.” Stacee shrugged and turned to go, only to see Antonio still lingering by the displays. “Antonio?”



Antonio bit his lip, then burst out, “It’s getting kind of hot outside, isn’t it? Why don’t we take a short break in here and enjoy the air conditioning?”



OK, Antonio definitely had something on his mind. But Stacee had found that when he got like this, instead of pushing him, it was best to go along with him until he was ready to spit it out at his own pace. So he stepped back to where Antonio was looking thoughtfully at the provocatively dressed mannequins. These outfits had a similar feel to some of the daring dresses Stacee had seen outside, though probably much more expensive and well-made.



“What, you see something you like?” Stacee playfully bandied the words back at Antonio, to let him know that he really hadn’t taken any offense at Antonio’s somewhat poorly worded question earlier.



At that, Antonio only blushed and turned to go deeper into the store, Stacee trailing close behind. This was a fairly popular store, and there was no shortage of impeccably dressed, beautiful women streaming in and out even at this relatively early hour.



Stacee became uncomfortably aware of how Antonio was watching his face. He was just beginning to think of something to say when Antonio beat him to it.



“Which dress do you think looks the best?” He nudged Stacee, inclining his head slightly at the group that had just entered, looking like they were on the way to the club after their shopping trip.



If this were any of the previous relationships he had been in, this would surely have been some kind of trap. But this was Antonio, who Stacee knew trusted him, loved him. So Stacee did his best to follow along, knowing that even though Antonio was clearly up to something, he could trust that whatever it was wouldn’t be bad.



Stacee, who made his living from being looked at by strangers, felt uncharacteristically awkward as he looked over at the women while trying to hide that he was doing so.



He had to admit they were a hot bunch. In his previous life, maybe Stacee would have gone over to flirt openly with them, especially if they had recognized him. But now, Antonio’s hand warm and soft in his, he could only share his opinions on their fashion. “Uh, that halter top dress is cool. The one with the strap things down the side.”



“It is cool. Do you like the bodycon style?”



“What is that? Does that mean that kind of um, tight style? Uh, sure I guess.”



“How about that one? The one with the lace ties across the cutouts in the front.”



“That one is… nice?” Stacee was starting to wish the air conditioning was colder in this store from how he was beginning to sweat.



Antonio pursed his lips, considering. “I suppose it’s not everyone who can pull that look off. But it is very sexy, right?”



Stacee could bear it no longer. “Antonio, love. You’re stressing me out here. You really want to hear me say some random lady’s dress looks sexy?”



“Sorry, I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. I just, how do I put this… I mean, you know I trust you more than anything. I would never doubt you. And I've always understood that you’re bi. You know I only like guys so it’s not something I can personally understand, but I was just curious about what kind of women you find attractive.” As Antonio spoke, his voice trailed off so that Stacee could barely hear the end of it, and his gaze slowly lowered until he was staring at the ground with his head almost hanging down.



Oh no. Was Antonio feeling… insecure?



Stacee believed Antonio when he said he would never doubt him. But his heart couldn’t help lurching painfully at the thought of Antonio feeling inadequate in any way. Stacee hadn’t done anything to make him feel like that, had he?



He took both of Antonio’s hands, firmly but gently. “Antonio. Baby. Where did this come from? I’ll say it again – you’re the only one for me. I mean, sure yeah, I’m still bi, but you’re the one I love.”



“I know,” Antonio mumbled, face flushing, though he let Stacee hold onto his hands and he squeezed them back lightly. “I’m not trying to doubt you. This isn’t actually about that. I just… it’s not important. Never mind. Let’s go to the next store. We still have a lot of ground to cover.”



Stacee mentally screamed that this was clearly at least somewhat important, given how strangely Antonio was acting, but he had said his piece already. All he could do now was give Antonio time and trust that he would remember their promise to each other to be honest about their feelings.



Antonio did manage to distract him as they hit the stores that carried pieces closer to the aesthetic Stacee was looking for. He had initially wanted the flashiest number he could find, but Antonio convinced him that maybe the crystal-studded, feather-trimmed velour cape that trailed halfway across the floor even on Stacee’s tall frame wasn’t the best choice for this event, despite how it was nearly Stacee’s favorite shade of hot pink. While Antonio acknowledged that it was very much Stacee’s style and he had no doubt he could certainly pull it off, he proposed that now that Stacee had regained some positive public opinion, he shouldn’t steal all the attention for himself and take it away from the actual film cast at the film’s premiere. Antonio didn’t fill in the blanks of what he implied the public might think, but Stacee understood well enough that he should avoid his previous labels of “desperate attention-seeker” and “unhirable unless you want your project to be a laughingstock.”



Still, Antonio certainly didn’t want to put a damper on Stacee’s personality showing through, and his sharp eye found a happy compromise – a suit somewhere between hot pink and fuchsia with a satiny base covered in a thorny rose pattern in a darker velvet appliqué and pants that flared out to showcase his long legs (Antonio’s words, not his). The shimmer of the satin was nicely broken up by the complex pattern, and Stacee could already picture how he could make it fit nicely within his aesthetic with the addition of a few of his gold chains and necklaces and a pair of bedazzled cowboy boots beneath those wide pant legs. Still showy and flashy, but with more than a hint of expensive. And hopefully not screaming that he wanted to be the main character even when he wasn’t in the actual movie.



As with before, the tailor took Stacee’s measurements and sent them on their way empty-handed  and many thousand dollars poorer. Antonio ended up adding on to their order the cape that had first so enchanted Stacee after all.



“I’m sure you’ll end up at an event sooner or later that would suit this. The next music awards, maybe?”



Stacee snorted, feeling a bit like he was being placated but glad to soak in the flattery nonetheless. “We’ll see about that. Worst comes to worst, if I don’t even get nominated, I’ll just wear it around the house. Or how about down the aisle?”



He was about to hastily add that he was only joking, but Antonio did look strangely thoughtful. “We haven’t really talked about what our wedding should look like yet. But if that’s the direction you like, I suppose we could build a whole theme around that theatrical look.”



Stacee whipped his head around to gawk at him.



“Hmm, I’ll have to start looking into peacock rental services. Only question is should we get them in natural blue or in white?”



Stacee’s eyes were just about to fall right out of his head when Antonio couldn’t hold it any longer and he cracked up into laughter. “Stacee, your face!”



“You’ve truly grown devious on me,” Stacee gasped through his own laughter, struck by the mental image of Antonio trying to wrangle a flock of peacocks while Stacee strutted in his long cape down the aisle.



“Your fault entirely.” And Antonio’s dazzling smile quieted some of the worry that had been welling up in Stacee’s heart.



Over lunch, watching Antonio chew on his salad after Stacee had already guzzled down his sandwich, Stacee couldn’t help but continue to wonder about those strange moments from Antonio earlier today. He was clearly in a good mood now, prior embarrassment forgotten. But Stacee couldn’t forget so easily.



Wildly, he wondered if maybe Antonio was having some of the same struggles he had, coming to terms with being happy. It was honestly a new thing for both of them. While Stacee used to waste away his days in a shallow haze of superficial pleasure that didn’t scratch the surface of true happiness, Antonio used to live in a punishing mental hell of his own making. Old habits died hard, and maybe Antonio had found some new direction to worry himself in. Was that what sparked his sudden apparent insecurity and questioning Stacee about his taste in women?



Or maybe Stacee was overthinking the whole thing and just projecting his own anxieties onto his fiancé.



Well, no reason to ruin a lovely lunch by bringing all that up. He wouldn’t rush Antonio into explaining himself, but Stacee still did resolve to keep a careful eye on him. He trusted that their happiness was built on such a strong foundation that these tiny mishaps wouldn’t even cause the slightest tremor.



“You brought on who as our drummer?!” Stacee was aware that he was yelling, which he had promised not to do in anger with his bandmates anymore, but this situation warranted an exception.



“Calm your tits, Stacee,” Andrea huffed. “It’s not like you were making much progress through all the candidates. And we have to hit the recording studio next week.”



“Of all the drummers in this town,” Stacee continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “You had to pick my ex-girlfriend?!”



“Good to see you again too, Stacee.” Constance sneered at him from where she was already perched behind her drum kit. “The years could have treated you better.”



“I could say the same of you.” Stacee sneered back.



“I heard you got engaged. Congratulations, if you do manage to go through with it. That poor man.”



“You expect me to work with this?!” Stacee exploded.



“Constance, come on. Play nice. We knew it would take him some getting used to.”



“Okay, okay, but only since you asked, babe.”



“Babe?!” Stacee just couldn’t seem to stop yelling today. He looked at Constance, then Andrea, then back to Constance again, and a horrible sinking feeling entered his gut. “Wait… no way… when did this happen? Tell me this isn’t happening. Tell me you’re just playing a very bad prank on me, Andrea.”



“…surprise?” Andrea said weakly. “Come on Stacee, give her a chance? She sounds really good on this song.”



“Don’t even talk to me about the song yet. How long has this,” and Stacee furiously gestured between Constance and Andrea, “been going on? And you never thought to tell me?”



Constance rolled her eyes. “You’re kind of making the case for why she wouldn’t tell you.”



“About two months,” Andrea cut her off with an apologetic look. “It's really not that deep. We just ran into each other by chance, and well, one thing led to another. And I was going to tell you eventually, I just…”



“Didn’t know how to tell me you broke our bro code?!”



“Since when are either of us bros?”



“You know what I mean! What kind of bandmate – friend – goes and dates someone’s ex?!”



“It’s not like you ever really cared about me. What does it matter to you?” Constance retorted in Andrea's place.



Stacee grimaced. He had wanted to shoot back that he had cared about her, once, before he messed up, she messed up (arguably worse), and the whole thing got ugly, one of the many reasons Stacee had eventually resolved to forgo all real attachments. He truly didn’t feel anything for Constance anymore – he just wanted to prove her wrong. But he was an engaged man now, and it didn’t feel right to admit that he once did feel something genuine for Constance, not even to win an argument.



“Okay, as amusing as this all is, are we actually going to play some music today or not? Cause if you three don’t work this out, I’m going home,” Joey grumbled, finally breaking his silence.



What would Antonio tell him to do? Antonio would probably see nothing wrong with quietly suffering in this situation as long as it meant work got done. And as awkward as it was for him to be working with his ex, he had to believe that Antonio trusted him.



Never mind that the strange way Antonio had been behaving when they had gone shopping together made Stacee especially loath to introduce an ex-girlfriend to the mix for fear of exacerbating any insecurity he might have been feeling.



“Fine, if Andrea vouches for her, let’s try the song. It had better be good, though.”



Infuriatingly enough, it was good.



She was good. Had she gotten better over the years, or had Stacee just never bothered to notice back when they were together? In any case, with the recording studio already booked for next week and a disappointing lack of any other candidates, Stacee grudgingly agreed to hire her on for the song.



“But just the one song!”



“Yeah yeah, you act like I’m dying to keep working with you. I just want to collect my share of the paycheck for this and go too, ok?”



Stacee wasn’t sure how to break this news to Antonio.



He hadn’t gone into much detail about his past relationships other than listing out a timeline of all the names he remembered when he talked about his bad old days, being hurt and hurting in turn. Ironic, because Antonio’s past unrequited love for Bassanio had probably already been discussed to death between them back in the early days of their relationship (even if they were still pretending it wasn’t a relationship at that point). But Stacee hadn’t thought it would matter, as he truly didn’t make a habit of thinking about his exes, and Antonio hadn’t asked.



He resolved to bring it up casually over dinner, a mere annoying detail of his day, a funny coincidence that he would really rather not have run into.



He would tell him, just after Antonio finished talking about the hapless new intern at work. And after telling Antonio about how he cooked tonight’s dinner and all the normally expensive ingredients in it that he had found on sale.



Okay, he wasn’t stalling – he was just waiting for the right timing.



“Stacee, is everything okay?” Antonio gently interrupted Stacee’s somewhat manic rant about how he had learned which types of expiration dates could safely be ignored. “You seem a bit… tense tonight.”



Damn it, he probably hadn’t been hiding his agitation as smoothly as he thought.



“It’s fine, just –” and he really should say it, just spit it out and get it over with, look how worried he was making Antonio already, “just a bit nervous about the song. You know, uh, having a song of ours be in a movie for the first time.”



Lying? To Antonio! What was he doing?! Why couldn’t he just say it?



But he couldn’t say it now, not after how Antonio noticed how out of sorts he was. He had wanted to bring it up casually, so Antonio could see how little Constance mattered to him. He didn’t want to make it a big thing, didn’t want Antonio to think that maybe he did have something to worry about.



“You’ll do fine,” Antonio reassured, no doubt zeroing in on the anxious expression creeping onto Stacee’s face. “They already love the song – that’s why they bought it, right?”



“Yeah, just, you know, a lot of stuff to take care of for the new version,” Stacee mumbled. He wasn’t really lying, right? The Constance issue was just one more annoying thing to take care of because of this stupid song.



He felt truly awful.



How could Andrea do this to him?!



Dear, darling Antonio seemed to take Stacee’s sudden reticence at its face value, and he smoothly redirected their conversation away from Stacee’s work to more domestic topics, letting Stacee finish his rant about expiration dates. He must have wanted to avoid adding to Stacee’s anxiety. Stacee loved him so much his chest ached with it, on top of already feeling pained from the stress of the whole situation.



As soon as he cleared his plate, Antonio ushered him to go rest on the couch while he took care of cleanup, and Stacee didn’t have the energy to protest. Wanting to drown out the noise in his head, he flipped on the TV and idly scrolled through the newest music video releases as Antonio puttered about the kitchen.



He was on the verge of drifting off when Antonio settled in next to him, nestling into his side. It was second nature by this point for Stacee to sling his arm over his shoulders, instinctively rearranging his posture to curl around and accommodate Antonio.



“Wow, this choreography is pretty cool,” Antonio said after a moment, his eyes on the screen. “And check out those outfits.”



“Hmm?” Stacee, who had been staring at how Antonio’s profile caught the light from the TV, turned to see what he was talking about.



“Must have taken them a lot of takes to get right. Come to think of it, you’ve never done a music video like this, have you? Would the studio provide you with some background dancers if you asked?”



“Huh, I guess? Though I’d look pretty stupid not dancing in the middle of them. And don’t say I should join them.”



“You could just wiggle your hips. Gyrate like you’re so good at doing onstage.” Antonio poked Stacee on said hip, and in response, Stacee wrestled him prone onto the couch, and once he had him pinned down, playfully ground his hips against Antonio’s wriggling behind.



“You know this is the kind of dancing I prefer,” Stacee let his voice go low and velvet in Antonio’s ear, and Antonio’s mock struggles turned into a shiver as his body went pliant with desire beneath him.



“I can’t have you doing this with your background dancers,” Antonio said, letting his own voice go soft and breathy as he seductively looked back at Stacee over his shoulder. Just like that, Stacee was fully hard for him.



Good thing they kept lube and condoms in a discreet drawer in the coffee table, because this wasn’t the first time that their playful tussling on the couch had escalated. And good thing Antonio had found an artful way to drape a tasteful blanket on their couch as part of the décor, because this couch was genuine leather and Antonio would have had a fit if it were stained.



Stacee wasted no time in pulling Antonio’s belt free and tugging his pants down the curve of his ass. Antonio was pinned in place beneath Stacee’s thighs straddling his, and he could only helplessly writhe as Stacee leaned back to appreciate the erotic sight before him of Antonio, still fully clothed save for his exposed ass.



But he didn’t want to make Antonio wait long, as he was too impatient for a quick release to fuck out the stress of the day. After a few quick slaps to Antonio’s bare ass cheeks that left his pale flesh there reddened and Antonio keening with want, Stacee generously coated his fingers in lube and thrust two of them without further preamble into his hole, knowing he could take it.



Antonio moaned at the intense sudden penetration, and the way he clenched around Stacee’s fingers told him just how much he liked it when Stacee played a bit rougher like this. Stacee slid his other hand over Antonio’s cock as he worked him open with practiced efficiency, and Antonio’s body responded so familiarly to his touch, already long-since having been trained to open up for him, to take him inside and to hunger for him.



Stacee was hungry too, and he hastily rolled condoms over both their cocks (even with the blanket protecting the couch, he didn’t want to take any chances) before pushing himself straight into Antonio’s waiting hole, not wasting any time with teasing. The feel of Antonio hot and tight around him successfully squeezed out from his brain any thoughts other than the need to fuck this beautiful man that was his, his, his.



They hadn’t bothered turning off the TV, and Antonio’s cries as Stacee fucked him hard and fast mingled with the frenetic pop music coming from the speakers. He was pushed further and further along the couch with the force of Stacee’s steady thrusts, the side of his face pressed into the blanket as he stared glassily in the direction of the screen, where a scantily clad background dancer was shaking her ass at the lead singer.



“What are you watching that for?” Stacee growled down at him, suddenly feeling possessive. “I’m right here.” And he pulled out completely despite Antonio’s whimper to flip him onto his back so they could look into each other’s eyes as Stacee fully penetrated him again.



It didn’t take Stacee long after that, looking down at Antonio’s flushed face, his eyes moist with reflexive tears and his delicate lips parted with desire, an incongruous sight with how his shirt was still buttoned up all the way to his collar and how he still hadn’t removed his tie. He fucked Antonio hard enough that they made it all the way to the end of the couch, the top of Antonio’s head hitting against the armrest as Stacee’s thrusts sped up into his climax.



With his release, Stacee felt his own body drooping, going slack above Antonio, wanting to fall into instant relaxation. But Antonio still hadn’t come yet, so Stacee kept his softening cock inside him as he jerked him off.



What a sight Antonio made, coming apart beneath him and at his hands. It wasn’t just how breathtakingly beautiful he was – it was the absolute trust he had in Stacee, how he gave himself so freely over, let his usual composure fall to pieces and exposed his rawest self to the man he loved.



Sometimes Stacee still found it hard to believe that someone like him had ever earned Antonio’s precious trust. It certainly hadn’t been an easy road to get here, but he vowed to always be worthy of it.



Of course, that thought also unhappily snapped Stacee back to the reality he had left behind – the fact that he still hadn’t told Antonio about his unpleasant encounter with Constance today. He would, he promised himself, he really would, but when the time was right. He didn’t want to pierce the warm bubble of their domestic bliss as they sleepily went to shower together and get ready for bed. He didn’t want to bring the messiness of his past into this new life he had managed to build with Antonio.



Stacee had to admit that by the second day of practice together, Constance already sounded like she belonged with the band. Not only did she play to perfection the drum part Stacee had written beforehand, but she improved upon it in ways none of them had thought of before.



Truly infuriating.



Stacee’s first childish impulse was to continue his temper tantrum from yesterday, if not for how Andrea had met up with him shortly before the others to talk and how she had practically begged him to be cool, which admittedly did make him feel a bit embarrassed by his strong reaction. Andrea had put up with a lot of shit from Stacee over the years, so he supposed he did owe her more than a few.



And on top of that, they did have to finish getting this song together. After Antonio had found such a perfect outfit for his red-carpet premiere, it wouldn’t do to have to cancel.



So Stacee channeled Antonio’s composure as best he could, keeping his face in the stoic mask of professionalism that he imagined Antonio wore in the office, especially around the more unreasonable clients that he would inevitably complain to Stacee about at home later. He limited his conversation with Constance to talking only about the work itself, and though she started the day clearly on guard with her hackles raised around him, she eventually also shifted into a similar mode of cool professionalism.



Thanks to their unspoken détente, they actually got a lot done that day, locking down the drum part for the song. But even though it was vastly improved, something about the song still lacked that oomph factor that Stacee was looking for.



“It still feels too much like the original version,” Stacee grumbled as they cleaned up for the day.



“Come on, is that such a bad thing? The studio wouldn’t have bought the song if they didn’t like the original,” said Joey.



“Yeah, but what’s the point of re-recording it if we’re just going to do more of the same?” Stacee retorted.



“Honestly, probably mostly just to get rid of our convicted murderer ex-drummer’s work on the track.”



“Bah! Still, we’re in a comeback phase now. We don’t want to put out something that just sounds like an easy cash grab for the movie.”



“…I actually had an idea about that,” Andrea chimed in, uncharacteristically hesitant. “Stacee might not like it. But. It is a pretty romantic movie, you know. If we leaned into the ballad part of this power ballad, maybe make it a duet?”



“A duet.” Stacee had the feeling he would not like where this was going. “A duet as in two people singing together? You don’t sing, and I’m not sure how romantic a duet between me and Joey would be. He mostly just does the backing harmonies anyway.”



“Yeah… not with Joey or me. With Constance.”



“What.”



“Constance and I actually put together a demo last night. Before you freak out, just give it a listen? Then you can say no.”



“Can she even sing?”



Constance crossed her arms, frowning at Stacee. “Were you that drunk and self-absorbed when we were together to not know this about me?”



“Hey, I do remember you were trying to get started in the music scene… but I didn’t… think you were… that serious…” Okay, even Stacee had to admit that sounded really bad coming out.



“I was,” she replied coldly. “And I actually have made a name for myself in the years since. Enough so that working with you on this song is doing Arsenal a favor. I made that demo because Andrea asked me to. It’s no skin off my nose if you don’t want to use it and just prefer to go for the safe route.”



Constance definitely still knew how to annoy him, even after eight years.



“Fine, fine. Just stop making me out to be the bad guy! Come on, you have to admit it’s weird, isn’t it? To sing a romantic duet with your ex? Especially after, you know, I just got engaged?”



“That’s show business,” Constance said with a shrug. “And it’s called acting. Loads of people who don't give two shits about each other sing duets all the time.”



“Just play the demo already before I go home,” Stacee grumbled.



Andrea pulled out her phone and played the track. It stripped down a lot of the noise from the original, but more than made up for it in the new harmonic line. A daring reimagining in the way that maybe only an outsider to Arsenal could have come up with.



“That’s some good shit,” Joey broke the silence first after it finished. “We’re going with that, yea?”



“I don’t know… I’ll have to think about it,” Stacee said automatically, not wanting to concede so easily.



“Well, make up your mind. We’ll have to nail down the final sound by the end of the day tomorrow since we’re headed to the studio the day after.” Constance replied.



Stacee played the demo again in the car on his drive back home. And damn him, it was good. It had that missing oomph he had been looking for, that he knew would elevate this entire re-recording.



Why did Constance have to become so good at her job?



He had perversely hoped that maybe he would catch more flaws on a second listen. And he did, but what he heard left his creative mind itching to tweak and improve rather than dismiss outright.



Stacee groaned out loud in the space of his closed car. As an artist, he couldn’t say no to this.



But how could he accept this as a fiancé? A man engaged to be married?



By the time he got home, he had decided only on one thing. He had to tell Antonio. No more delays. Every second he put this off tore at his conscience.



He needed to prove to himself that he truly had changed, that he wasn’t the same Stacee who had been such a terrible boyfriend to Constance and too many others all those years ago, who had broken Antonio’s heart once, before Antonio had miraculously given him a second chance at life and love.



“I’m home,” he called out once he stepped in from the garage, his heart pounding in his throat.



Antonio should be back already by this time – where was he? Normally he’d be starting to cook if he got home before Stacee or relaxing in the living room if they felt like ordering takeout.



“Welcome back,” Antonio’s voice came from their bedroom, muffled through the closed door. Stacee heard the sound of drawers being opened and shut, and moments later Antonio emerged, wearing his lounge clothes that looked unusually rumpled. Antonio hastily pulled the hem of his loose shirt out from where it had been partially caught in the band of his sweatpants. “Sorry, I didn’t start dinner yet. I thought your session would go longer. Want to do takeout tonight?”



“That sounds good,” Stacee said as he raised a curious eyebrow. Antonio usually didn’t mind staying in his work clothes for a while unless it was especially hot, but the temperature was still pretty cool right now. His face was looking kind of flushed too – was he coming down with something?



No matter. Stacee would have to figure it out later.



“Actually, Antonio, I have something to tell you.”



Antonio looked quizzically at him, probably taken aback by how ominous that came out. Stacee motioned for them both to take a seat on the couch that they had made love on only last night.



“I should have told you earlier, but I kept putting it off. I’m sorry.”



Antonio took his slightly trembling hands and pulled them gently into his lap. “It’s okay. You’re telling me now, aren’t you? What has you so upset?”



Stacee took a deep breath. “Andrea went and got Constance, one of my ex-girlfriends, to play the drums for our song. And now they want us to sing the song as a duet.”



“Constance,” Antonio mused. Thankfully, his reaction wasn’t the shock or betrayal Stacee had feared. “Was she the one you were seeing back when you had just released your first album?”



“Yeah, that was her,” Stacee confirmed with a wince. Antonio did have a good memory after all. “Turns out Andrea has been dating her for the past two months.”



“So is it hard to work with her now?” Just like Antonio to worry about the practical implications first.



“To be honest, she’s really good at what she does, especially after we forced ourselves to stop fighting.”



“It sounds like it’s working out then.”



“Antonio, doesn’t it bother you? You don’t have to pretend, not with me. If you don’t like it, I’ll tell them we can’t do the duet. Or we’ll find another drummer and singer.” Stacee carefully studied his face, looking for any sign of him trying to hide his feelings.



“I trust you, Stacee,” Antonio said simply, his face open and honest. “I know you love me. And it’s abundantly clear to me that anything between you and your exes is long since over.”



Abruptly, Stacee felt tears welling up in his eyes, emotion sticking in his throat, overwhelmed by Antonio’s unconditional love and humbled by his trust. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”



Antonio pecked him lightly on the lips. “I could say the same. I do hope you didn’t think I’d be jealous over a relationship from, what is it, eight years ago?”



“Well, maybe jealous isn’t the right word. Hurt?” Stacee hesitated, then decided to plunge forward with the other topic that had been eating away at his mind lately. Might as well get it all out during this heart-to-heart. “I was worried that you might be feeling a bit insecure lately.”



“Insecure?” From the confused way Antonio repeated the word, it didn’t sound like that had been the case at all.



“No? Then what was all that, asking me about what kind of women’s clothes I found sexy and stuff?”



“Oh, that!” Antonio blushed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you worry. I’m… actually planning something that I hope you’ll like. I wanted it to be a surprise, a good one.”



That caught Stacee off-guard. Antonio generally didn’t do surprises. Despite how he was still feeling a bit shaky from his lingering nerves, he was intrigued. “What is it?”



“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you,” retorted Antonio. “You’ll find out tomorrow. But anyways, back to the matter at hand. Do you feel comfortable working with Constance?”



Stacee sighed. “You’re right. It was a long time ago, and any wounds have long since healed. I guess seeing her has just been weird. A reminder of my past where frankly, I was an asshole. I can admit now that I probably was a much worse boyfriend than she was a girlfriend. I didn’t even know how serious she was about music! I probably never took her seriously at all. I really was such a self-absorbed jerk. I don’t think I’m that person anymore – I mean, at least I certainly hope not – but I guess the past can’t be erased so easily after all.”



Antonio idly played with Stacee’s fingers, still held in his lap as he mused. “You can’t erase the past. But you can still change how things are now. Did you ever apologize to her?”



Stacee blinked. He had been so preoccupied with his own guilt and resentment at being made to remember what a terrible person he had been that the thought hadn’t actually occurred to him. “I guess I didn’t. You think I should?”



“Yes. I’m not saying you should track down every ex you feel like you might have wronged, but you do have to work with this one. So I think it might be best to make up for the past as best you can.”



“My brilliant husband, why are you always right?”



Antonio smiled. “You give me plenty of inspiration. How’s this – if you apologize to her and work well together to finish the song, I’ll show you my surprise afterward?”



“It’s a deal.”



To Stacee’s surprise, Constance actually did agree to his request to show up outside their rehearsal space fifteen minutes before the rest of the band arrived.



“Hey,” he nodded at her. “I wanted to talk.”



“Talk.” She looked pointedly at him. She wasn’t going to make this easy, that was for sure, but she was letting him talk. That was more than he deserved, probably.



“First of all, your demo was great. We should definitely do it like that. I do have some notes, but we can figure it out today.” Stacee felt more than a bit ashamed to see how Constance was obviously surprised at the honest praise. He had really been miserly with his acknowledgement before, hadn’t he? “You’re honestly very talented. And it’s clear you’ve worked hard these past eight years. I’m sorry I never saw it before, but I’m honored to get the chance to work with you now.”



“Wow. What brought this on?”



Stacee grimaced. This definitely wasn’t easy. “I’m not the same Stacee you once knew. At least, I’m trying not to be. It’s a work in progress.”



“Huh.” Constance still looked a bit leery, but there was some confusion added to the mix.



“Constance, I’m sorry for being such a shit boyfriend back then. And for being an ass to you these past few days too as I was working through my own shit. You deserved better, and I really do hope Andrea makes you happy now.”



“She does.” Constance bit her lip, then exhaled slowly, somewhere between a sigh and a laugh. “This is a bit surreal. I never thought I’d see you apologizing to anyone, much less me. But apology accepted. And well, I guess you could have been worse. You were just neglectful and emotionally absent. You never even actually cheated. Wait, did you?”



“I didn’t!” Stacee protested. “Did you?”



“I thought about it more than once, especially whenever you left me behind to go on tour or crawling through all the bars in town or whatever it was you did. But no, I didn’t.”



“Good on both of us, I guess.” Stacee stuck out his hand. “To putting the past behind us and getting out a kickass track?”



“I’ll shake on that.”



And with their firm handshake, a weight on Stacee’s heart lifted.



“I guess Antonio really did change you, huh?” Constance smirked.



Stacee groaned, but mostly for show. “Don’t tell me you read that article too…”



“I have better things to do with my time than read tabloids about you,” Constance scoffed. “But I got it straight from the source. Andrea does love to gossip.”



“I swear… but to answer your question. I did decide to change. That had to come from me. But I couldn’t have done it without him.”



The past really was a strange thing. Even when Stacee wanted nothing more than to run away from it entirely, it had a habit of sticking around, entangling him in the most unexpected ways. Things that he thought would only ever fill him with bitterness ended up shaping who he was, and even transforming themselves in turn over time.



At one point, he had been set on changing the band’s name from Arsenal to something new, to make a fresh start and erase the painful past. But nothing else stuck. Nothing else had the same ring to it, the same name recognition or history both good and bad. So in the end, they stayed as Arsenal, and Stacee had resolved to add to that name’s history instead of overwriting or erasing it.



And an ex-girlfriend whom he would have rather forgotten ended up becoming a respected work partner that helped them create a roaring success, judging by the enthusiastic response of all the movie creatives present at their recording session.



After they turned in the final take, Andrea floated the idea of Constance joining the band permanently, and Stacee found he couldn’t say no. He did hesitate to let her immediately join in full, as he thought it might be better to try a few more small projects together like this first and then to see where things went, channeling some of Antonio’s characteristic caution. Constance also agreed that was for the best.



Finally, the day was over, and Stacee headed home from the recording studio. It had been a good day after all, but he was more than ready to put it behind him and look forward to the surprise Antonio had been teasing.



He opened the front door to see a glimpse of long blond hair in the kitchen.



What the hell? Had he entered the wrong house?



Then the figure turned, and Stacee’s jaw dropped.



That was Antonio, under what Stacee guessed was a very well-made blond wig and wearing what Stacee could only describe as a sexy take on women’s business casual clothes: a silky coral-pink blouse that buttoned low on his chest and tied delicately above his waist, a pearl necklace that nestled snugly between his collarbones, a pleated grey wool skirt that revealed half of his thighs and the tops of his dark gartered stockings, and hot-pink, leopard-print high heels. And he was wearing makeup too, his eyes smoky with dark eyeshadow and his lips painted a vivid red that accentuated their delicate curves.



Also – were those the straps of some fancy lingerie crisscrossing his hips above the waistline of his skirt?!



Stacee’s brain immediately short-circuited with the sheer force of his sudden desire.



Antonio set the food he had been carrying down on the table and hastily stepped out to greet Stacee. He didn’t even wobble on his heels. Had he been practicing in secret?



“…surprise?” he said, a bit weakly as he saw that Stacee was still standing there, motionless and mute. “Um, is it too much…?”



Stacee forced his brain to start working again as he stumbled his way over to sit on a dining chair, his legs going soft as his eyes fixed on the beautiful figure Antonio cut. “Dear God, Antonio. Too much? No, a resounding no! But I… I… I might need a moment. Am I actually drooling?”



“So… do you like it?” Now Antonio was blushing, adding to the effect even more.



“Do I like it? Do I like it?! This is the best surprise I’ve ever had in my life. Do you have any idea how hot you look right now?”



“Well, that was the goal,” Antonio said, still bashful, but clearly satisfied at himself for a job well done. He darted back to the cupboard to grab plates and silverware for them, his heels clacking on the kitchen tile. “Dinner’s ready.”



The food was delicious, but Stacee could barely name what he was putting into his mouth as he kept gaping at Antonio. Even his nails were painted, the same lush red as his lips. Trust Antonio always to come through with attention to detail.



“Close your mouth when you chew,” chided Antonio gently, but he was pleased at Stacee’s attention.



“I just… damn. What brought this on?”



“You remember that drag show we went to a while ago? That got me starting to think… and then later, when you dressed up in that suit for me, I realized how nice it could be for me to dress up for you too. And well, maybe it’s kind of something I was always curious about but never had an excuse to try.”



“So that was why you were asking me about what kinds of women’s clothes I find sexy,” Stacee realized. He had to laugh at how anxious he had been in hindsight, especially now that he knew the reason was something he would enjoy so much.



“I’m sorry if I misdirected you too much and made you worry. You know I’m not really good at surprises.”



“My love, I truly cannot complain.”



Stacee quickly scarfed down the rest of his dinner, impatient to get to enjoying the rest of Antonio’s surprise. He started to clear the dishes, but Antonio stopped him.



“Let me. You go shower first.”



“But you already cooked! We always trade off. Cook never cleans, right?”



Antonio bit his painted lip, and Stacee swore he could feel his cock twitch at the sight. “I kind of, um, want to try. Doing the chores while dressed up.”



Antonio really was full of surprises tonight. Stacee never would have guessed he was harboring some kind of housewife fetish fantasy, but the thought made his own imagination run wild too. Once he managed to coax his eyebrows down his forehead, Stacee mentally shifted into the dominant role that he knew Antonio liked him playing.



“All right,” he said, pitching his voice lower. He roughly wrapped a hand around the exposed flesh of Antonio’s waist between the bottom of his blouse and the top of his skirt, pulling him stumbling to sit on Stacee’s lap. From Antonio’s heated gasp, that seemed to have hit the spot for him. He ran a finger under those intriguing straps at his hips before sliding his other hand up Antonio’s thigh to pull at one of his garters, releasing it with a sharp snap against his pale flesh, relishing how Antonio yelped and twitched. “My lovely little wife is going to get the kitchen nice and clean, hm?”



He snaked his hand higher up Antonio’s thigh and swore under his breath as he felt the brush of a lacey texture against his fingertips. “Such an eager little slut, all dolled up and pretty for me. You cooked dinner for me while wearing such sexy panties?”



“Yes,” Antonio whimpered, squirming a bit in his lap as Stacee palmed his cock through the panties, precum already starting to soak through the thin material.



“Hm, but I think it’s too easy to just let you do the dishes like this. I want to make sure you’re ready for me the moment I finish my shower. Go get the vibrating plug and lube from the bedroom. And bring the remote.” Stacee didn’t miss the way Antonio’s eyes darkened in hunger at his words even as his lips parted almost innocently in surprise.



Antonio frantically nodded in answer. Stacee sent him off with a slap to his ass through the skirt, and he rushed to do as ordered. In his haste he stumbled a bit on his heels, but Stacee caught him in time and steadied him. “Careful, love,” he said into his ear, breaking character for a moment.



“Sorry, I did practice a bit, but these do take some getting used to,” Antonio admitted.



The thought of Antonio preparing all this for so long filled Stacee with both tender love and raging lust. He slapped Antonio’s ass again. “Go nice and slow. We can’t play if you trip and hurt yourself, darling.”



Antonio complied, and Stacee admired how the skirt swayed with his hips as he walked slower in his heels. He was back a moment later, holding the items Stacee had requested.



“Thank you, my dear. Now bend over my lap.”



After setting everything down on the table, Antonio gingerly did as asked, draping himself over Stacee’s waiting lap. Stacee ran his hand through the blond wig, tracing the path it cascaded from the middle of Antonio’s back to over his shoulder. He gently fisted his hand in the hair. “Can I pull on it?”



“No, it’ll come right off,” Antonio slightly broke character to tell him. “It’s just a wig cap with some bobby pins.”



“Ah, a pity. Then how about you just imagine me grabbing a good fistful of your hair, then yanking your head back with it as I do this,” and Stacee flipped up the back of his skirt to finally see the panties he had been so curious about.



He whistled. Sheer red lace framed by thin straps sat between the plush cheeks of Antonio’s ass, leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination while serving as the most erotic decoration. He pushed the thong to the side to brush his fingers against Antonio’s hole, only to find it already wet with lube.



“You were this wet while cooking for me? My dirty little wife.” Stacee pushed his fingers easily in without further preamble, Antonio moaning beneath him, already lost in his role.



“I couldn’t wait for you to get home – ah!” his breathy whimper was cut off by Stacee curling his fingers to rub against his prostate, and Stacee could feel his hard cock digging into his thigh through the skirt.



Stacee finger-fucked him slowly, entertained by how he squirmed on his lap. Then without warning, he switched up the pace and jabbed his fingers rapidly against Antonio’s sweet spot, making him wail as his body jerked forward into Stacee, rutting against him.



“Not yet, darling. You promised me you’d clean the kitchen, didn’t you? While wearing your pretty plug?”



“ah~ ah! I… did…”



Stacee withdrew his fingers just as abruptly, making Antonio whine with the loss, though he quickly replaced them with the plug after giving it another coating of lube for good measure. This plug curved wickedly forward to hit right on his prostate, especially when Stacee pushed it in to the base and angled it like so-



“Ahhhn~”



There it was.



With Antonio twitching on his lap, Stacee carefully pulled the panties back over the base of the plug and gave his ass another healthy slap when he was done. Something about the panties made it impossible for Stacee to resist spanking him every chance he got. He pulled up the garters that had started sliding down with Antonio’s movements, giving both elastic ribbons a good snap against Antonio’s thighs as well just to see how it made him jump. Finally, he flipped Antonio’s skirt back down and pulled him upright again, holding him by the waist until he steadied on his heels.



“Pick up the remote and turn it to the lowest speed.”



Antonio reached for the remote with shaky fingers, flushing darkly at how he was the one commanded to start tormenting himself. He gasped softly as the vibration hit him, but other than that, only swayed slightly on his feet.



“I’m going to go take my shower now. Leave the remote on my chair. You’re not allowed to touch it except for every five minutes, when I want you to turn it up a speed. I’m setting a timer now. Better get through those dishes fast, hm? Don’t want you breaking anything.”



Antonio’s mouth fell open, but he didn’t protest, only meekly nodded and started his cleaning work as Stacee set the voice-activated timer to go off every five minutes.



Stacee took his sweet time getting ready for his shower, hearing the slightly unsteady clack of Antonio’s heels accompanied by the sound of dishes being loaded into the dishwasher. He had just finished brushing his teeth when he heard the timer go off for the first time. Turning off the sink, he crept into the hallway to hear Antonio’s whimper coming from the kitchen, followed by the sound of heels more unsteady than they had been before. Just when Stacee was wondering if he had better check on him to make sure he didn’t really drop a plate on his foot or something, he heard the sound of the dishwasher being closed and starting up. Good, so he had made his first deadline. The remaining work should be much safer to handle, as it wouldn’t be a big deal if he collapsed onto the table while wiping it or simply dropped the broom.



Humming happily, Stacee hopped into the shower and leisurely went about the rest of his routine, imagining what Antonio must sound like if only he could hear him over the sound of the water. The vibrating plug had five speeds total, and Stacee was determined to get Antonio to the highest setting. He blow-dried his hair all the way dry and went through the skincare regimen that Antonio had started him on recently, applying all the various creams that he usually was too lazy to go through save for the most general use moisturizer.



He threw on his hot-pink, leopard-print-trimmed silk bathrobe and returned to find a spotlessly clean kitchen and Antonio on all fours with a paper towel in his hand, panting heavily as he somewhat pitifully tried to keep wiping at the floor. He picked up the remote to inspect and indeed, it was at the highest setting.



“Is this how you clean?” Stacee jeered, and Antonio startled slightly to hear him back. Was he so lost already that he hadn’t noticed Stacee entering the kitchen? “On your hands and knees with your ass in the air like that?”



He sat in his usual dining chair and pointed with his foot at a spot in front of it. “You missed a spot here. Show me how you clean.”



Antonio seemed to be a bit beyond words at the moment, a light sheen of sweat beading beneath his blond wig and his skin flushed completely pink, but he dutifully crawled over and began wiping at the nonexistent dirty spot. Stacee took the chance to swing his feet over to rest lightly on his upraised ass, drawing a helpless gasp from Antonio.



“What a pretty footrest you make. Now scrub so hard your ass bounces. I want this floor sparkling.”



Antonio did as commanded, using both hands to work the paper towel back and forth so his ass did indeed bounce with the motion beneath Stacee’s feet. From the way his chest heaved, Stacee knew the toy must be giving him hell.



“Does cleaning the floor turn you on that much? But careful, if you come on the floor you just cleaned, I’ll make you lick it all up with your tongue.” Stacee punctuated his words by rubbing the heels of his feet where they were already digging into Antonio’s ass. Antonio, the dedicated darling he was, was still trying to wipe the floor, but without any strength left in his arms, he collapsed onto his front, ass still shaking from the ministrations of Stacee’s feet and the toy inside him.



Stacee decided to take a bit of mercy on him (and anyway, he knew Antonio enjoyed the threat of having to lick the floor much more than actually having to do it). He wanted to draw out this night as much as he could, after all, so he removed his feet and pulled Antonio up trembling onto his lap.



“Look, it’s sparkling clean now. You did such a good job,” he crooned, brushing the long blond strands that had fallen onto Antonio’s sweaty face. Antonio’s eyelashes fluttered at the praise. His eyeshadow was starting to smear a bit, but it only added to the debauched effect that fueled Stacee’s desire. “My little wifey deserves a nice, fat reward.”



Noting that Antonio probably shouldn’t walk on his heels any more in the state he was in, but not wanting him to take them off just yet, Stacee added, “I like how you looked when you were on your hands and knees scrubbing the floor. Crawl just like that behind me.”



He extended his mercy and dialed the vibrator back down to the lowest speed before leading him to the bedroom. Antonio followed behind him like a forlorn puppy, head hanging low between his shoulders. It was enough to make Stacee regret not buying a collar and leash at some point… ah well, he could always save some for next time.



Stacee sat on the side of the bed and smiled down at Antonio still on the floor. “Would you like to suck my cock?”



“Yes!” Antonio nodded emphatically, long blond hair waving back and forth with the motion. It was ridiculous how cute he was looking up at Stacee like that. “Please, may I?”



“You may,” Stacee chuckled, spreading his legs and pushing aside the flaps of his bathrobe. He had been hard ever since he heard Antonio turning up the vibrator the first time. Antonio crawled between his legs and greedily wrapped his lipstick-red lips around Stacee’s cock.



Stacee leered down at him, trying to burn in his mind the erotic image of Antonio’s delicate red lips stretched around his cock. At some point they’d have to do this again and take photos. Not with a phone camera, though, Stacee didn’t want to risk any leaks.



Gently, so as not to jostle the wig too badly, he placed a hand on top of Antonio’s head and pressed him further down his cock. Antonio went easily with the motion, let Stacee guide his head up and down to swallow Stacee deep down. He had been making great progress in his deepthroat ability lately, and Stacee was eager to put it to the test.



“Hungry little slut,” Stacee grunted past the jolts of pleasure shooting up through his gut, fucking into Antonio’s throat. “This is what you like to eat the best? Your husband’s cock?”



Antonio moaned around him, and the vibrations from the sound shot straight from Stacee’s cock into his spine. Fuck, Antonio was so hot like this, reflexive tears spilling from his eyes to draw tracks through his eyeshadow that only emphasized the angle of his cheekbones along with how his cheeks hollowed out from the way he sucked so diligently on Stacee’s cock. Feeling devious, Stacee pushed into his throat once more and tugged ever-so-slightly at the pearl necklace around his neck – not enough to obstruct his breathing at all, but just enough to emphasize to Antonio how deep and thick Stacee was in his throat.



“Eat up, my dear. Don’t let anyone say your husband doesn’t feed you well.”



It took all of Stacee’s willpower and then some to pull out from Antonio’s whimpering throat after that, but he wanted nothing more than to come inside Antonio’s ass in those panties and that skirt, and for that he was willing to delay his gratification.



“On the bed and on your back,” he growled roughly, both to keep up his dominant persona and because words were currently a bit hard to find thanks to all the blood going from his brain to his cock. ““Hands above your head.”



Antonio obediently complied, blond hair fanning out behind him as he laid back. He looked so vulnerable and beautiful like this, makeup smeared and debauched, already well on the road to ruin thanks to Stacee.



“I fed both your holes already with the toy and my cock, but I haven’t touched your tits yet tonight, have I?” Stacee mused, working his hands up Antonio’s chest. The fabric of his blouse was so soft, softer than the starched shirts he normally favored. Stacee slipped a hand under the low-cut neckline only to feel more lace beneath his fingertips. He raised his eyebrows and grinned down at Antonio, who despite the submissive position he was in, managed to look more than a little smug. “What naughty lingerie are you wearing beneath this, hm?”



Stacee unbuttoned the blouse down to where it tied on Antonio’s waist and yanked both sides open to reveal a lacy bralette in the same crimson shade as his panties. Like his panties, the bralette was completely sheer through the lace, which was also framed by thin satiny ribbons crossing his chest, and Stacee could clearly see how Antonio’s flushed nipples poked through the thin fabric.



“Your poor titties are so hungry to be teased, aren’t they?” Stacee walked his fingers across the fabric to skirt around Antonio’s nipples, relishing how he trembled beneath his touch. “Did the lace rub them under that businesslike blouse? Were you secretly getting excited by that even when you were pretending to be a good little wife and cooking me dinner?”



He punctuated his words by tugging slightly at the fabric so that the lace slid against Antonio’s chest, gently chafing at his nipples. Antonio cried out and squirmed where he lay, clenching his hands in fists to keep them above his head like Stacee had ordered.



“Don’t cry, love. I’ll give you what you want.” Stacee pinched at both of Antonio’s nipples through the bralette, tugging and rolling them a bit in his fingers so the lacey texture would continue to torment him. Antonio’s head was thrown back, his wig going slightly askew as Stacee mercilessly teased him. Stacee briefly released his nipples to give him a slight reprieve before pushing his hands upward on the bottom of his breasts to plump them, and then he lowered his head to mouth at Antonio’s chest through the lace.



Antonio was helplessly grinding up against Stacee’s stomach where it was pressed between his spread legs, cock so hard and wet that Stacee could feel it seeping through his skirt. Stacee forcefully sucked his nipple and squeezed his breasts even tighter, and Antonio was lost, voice breaking on his cry as he came in his panties, vibrator still faintly buzzing inside him.



Stacee grabbed the remote from where he had flung it on the bedside table and turned it off, letting Antonio catch his breath as he lay there with his chest heaving inside the bralette. He waited until Antonio’s eyes had focused again before continuing.



“Such sensitive, slutty tits. But I’m not done with you yet, oh no. I’m gonna fill your pretty ass up tonight.”



“Please,” Antonio breathed. He felt at his head and frowned slightly at how his wig was halfway off his head, his real hair starting to poke through from under. “Wait, let me fix this first. I knew I should have tried the wig tape…”



“No need,” Stacee grinned, grabbing his wrists and pulling them away from his hair to pin them down on either side of his head.



“But it must look so ugly like this,” Antonio pouted up at him, the effect enhanced by how sex-flushed his face was.



“Not at all. You have no idea how hot you look right now. How can I explain this… it’s not because you’re tricking me into thinking you’re a woman or anything like that. It’s because it’s you, dressing up for me, wanting to be sexy for me. And when you’re all messed up like this, because of me, it just drives the point home harder.”



“Oh!” That turned Antonio’s face from pink to red.



“Is that how you feel too? Tell me.”



“…yes. I like it… I like feeling sexy for you. I like it when you look at me like that, like you… like you want to eat me.”



“Oh, I’m going to eat you all right.” Stacee nuzzled his face into the crook of Antonio’s neck to lip and nick at his sweaty skin. “My seductive little wife. Spending all this energy plotting how to turn your husband on and get him to fuck you nice and hard like you want. Well, you’re going to get what you bargained for and then some.”



Stacee pulled back from working hickeys into the base of Antonio’s neck (well below the neckline of any shirts he might wear to work) to push his legs farther apart. He roughly flipped the front of his skirt up to reveal his soiled panties.



“Such a mess already. Do you really even need me? That toy fucked you pretty good already.”



“Please, I do, I do.” Antonio fell straight back into his submissive mode. “Please fuck me, please give me your cock, please come inside me.”



“So demanding.” Stacee clicked his tongue, but still reached down to tug the crotch of Antonio’s panties to the side so he could finally pull the toy out from his ass. Antonio shuddered when it was fully out. “Don’t worry, I’ll fill your greedy little hole up again real soon. Hold your thighs open for me.”



Stacee drank in the sight of Antonio’s red-painted nails against the skin of his own thighs as he lubed up his cock. He kept the crotch of the panties pulled to the side as he pressed his achingly hard cock into Antonio’s hot, tight hole.



“Thank you,” Antonio whimpered when Stacee bottomed out. “My husband…”



Stacee felt like he barely knew where to begin. He wanted to touch Antonio all over his body, feel every inch of the tantalizing clothes that he was still mostly fully dressed in, completely devour the delicious gift that he had been given.



He settled first on grabbing his breasts again, this time digging his fingers in so that Antonio would really feel the friction of the lace against his skin and giving himself good leverage to start pounding away at a steady pace. With each in and out thrust he could feel the panties bunching against the side of his own cock, extra stimulation that had Stacee reeling as well.



Even if the clothes ended up being ruined by tonight’s activities, they had really gotten their money’s worth already.



Antonio’s cock wasn’t fully hard inside of his panties, as he had just come not too long ago, but Stacee resolved to make him come dry before he finished. Giving both of Antonio’s flushed nipples a final, firm rub with his thumbs, he slid his hands down his sides to tug at the garter belts again. He had lost count of how many times he had snapped them against his thighs already, but it was really too much fun to resist.



Antonio clenched around him at the snap of elastic against his skin, making Stacee smirk. “What a kinky slut,” he huffed, a bit short of breath himself with exertion. He slapped Antonio’s ass a few times for good measure, enjoying how Antonio twitched and tightened around him each time.



Antonio could only manage broken gasps at this point, and Stacee knew that he was close again. He leaned down to rest his full weight on top of Antonio, still thrusting steadily into him all the while as he cradled Antonio’s face and finally kissed those red lips that had been tempting him all night. He hadn’t wanted to mess up Antonio’s carefully applied lipstick until the end.



He slid his tongue past his lips to plunder his mouth. By the taste and aroma of his lipstick, he guessed it was probably a more expensive brand than the sweet fruit-flavored glosses that Stacee favored for his onstage looks. But now, price aside, Stacee relished in turning the kiss sloppy as he really pounded into Antonio, smearing his lipstick halfway down his chin.



Antonio responded beautifully, hooking his legs around Stacee’s waist, and he could feel the backs of the high heels Antonio still hadn’t taken off pressing against his lower back. Stacee’s brain was overloading, overwhelmed with physical pleasure and the sheer eroticism of Antonio all dressed up for him, and before he knew it, he was coming hard, shooting hot and deep inside Antonio. Antonio sobbed into his mouth beneath him, spasming and clenching so that Stacee knew he was coming, his cock not fully erect but still spilling a thick trickle of cum, enough to add to the mess in the front of his panties.



They both lay collapsed there, body heat mingling and slowly cooling as they collected their breath. When Stacee’s brain felt like enough blood had returned to be functional again, he pulled out and rolled off Antonio, noting with satisfaction how a bit of his cum dripped out of Antonio’s hole to mingle with his own on his panties and smeared onto his thighs.



“None of those clothes were dry-clean only, right?” Stacee couldn’t help but worry a bit despite himself. Antonio had trained him well.



“No, they should be ok in the laundry. Delicate cycle,” Antonio mumbled, already getting sleepy. “I figured we’d probably be getting them dirty. I hoped so, anyway. All the outfits I got should be easy to wash.”



“All the outfits? That makes it sound like there’s more than this one?”



That got Antonio to perk up from his usual post-coital sleepiness. “Of course! Do you want me to show you now, or keep it as a surprise for next time?”



“Thinking about next time already? My saucy wife,” and Stacee playfully pinched at Antonio’s exposed waist. “You know I hate waiting. Show me now!”



“All right, all right, but let’s wash up first. I don’t want to get them dirty too.”



Stacee couldn’t wait to undress Antonio even though they weren’t going for another round tonight for sure, though he let Antonio remove the wig himself first. He had no idea how to unclip the many hairclips Antonio had used to keep it mostly in place.



He reverently unbuttoned the remaining buttons of his blouse, kissing every inch of skin that was revealed, before slipping his hands onto the bare skin of Antonio’s shoulders to push the rest of the blouse off from the inside. Antonio leaned happily into his touch, and Stacee took a moment to appreciate how hot he looked in just the bralette, as hot as it had been to fuck him when he was more fully dressed. No matter, there were plenty of configurations and states of varying undress that they would have plenty of time to try later. Next was the skirt, though Stacee fumbled for a moment to find the zipper, and then the garters. Looking mischievously up at Antonio, he dove in with his teeth to tug them downwards, nipping harmlessly at the inside Antonio’s thigh and earning a light slap on top of his head. Of course, he wasn’t so easily deterred, and he definitely let his hands linger much longer than they needed to rolling the stockings off Antonio’s surprisingly smooth legs.



“You even shaved your legs?”



“Of course! How would those stockings look with hair poking through them?”



When they stepped into the bathroom, Antonio laughed to see his ruined makeup in the mirror. “Did you have to do that to my lipstick? I look like a vampire after a night out. In drag.”



“What? It’s hot like that, knowing I’m the one who messed it up!”



Antonio just tutted at that, though he smiled as he dabbed away the smeared remnants with makeup remover on a cotton pad. As soon as his face was clear, Stacee all but dragged him into the shower, eager to finish quickly so he could see the other outfits as soon as possible.



“Okay, we’re clean, now show me already!”



Antonio hesitated. “But I don’t have the rest of the look together. Would it look weird just wearing the dresses?”



“It won’t, it really won’t. Let me see!”



“Fine,” and Antonio, towel around his waist, disappeared into the walk-in closet. From inside, he called, “So the outfit tonight was maybe the tamest one. I didn’t want to start out too crazy, but this one is a bit… more.”



He stepped out, and Stacee just about lost his damn mind.



He was wearing a tight black dress not too far off from some of the outfits he had pointed out to Stacee when they had gone shopping. Perhaps it would be too generous to call it a dress rather than a collection of straps wound around Antonio’s body that left more skin exposed than it covered. From a thick strip around his neck, the halter top fanned out to reveal almost all of his chest, save for his nipples and the bottom of his breasts that were covered by crisscrossing straps showcasing his sides and his navel before terminating in a short, tight skirt that barely covered his ass. And despite Antonio claiming he didn’t have the rest of the look together, he did have accessories on: gladiator wedges that strapped up above his ankles, a chunky gold bracelet, and hoop earrings.



“My God, Antonio,” Stacee blurted, regretting his cock’s inability to get hard again. He could just imagine how he would bend Antonio over and push that short, tight excuse of a skirt up his ass.



“So you like this one?” and Antonio was definitely preening now. He did a little turn to better show off how tight the skirt was around his ass.



“I can’t decide if I want to take you wearing that to show off in every club in town or throw you onto the bed and keep you there until the morning. Or both.”



Antonio smiled. “Maybe both. We’ll see. I think you’ll like the panties under this one too.”



But he slapped Stacee’s curious hand away from the bottom of his skirt.



“No peeking! I do want to save some surprise for you next time.”



“Such a bossy wife,” grumbled Stacee, but only for show. Next time couldn’t come soon enough.



“Okay, I’ll change into the last outfit now. This one might take a while. It’s a bit… complicated to put on. Don’t fall asleep out there!” Antonio ducked into the closet again.



Stacee twiddled his thumbs for a good while before his curiosity got the better of him, and he approached the closet door. “Do you need help?”



“Just… a moment!” Was that a thump that came from inside? Stacee was seriously considering storming in when Antonio finally slid the door open, and his jaw dropped. He didn’t think he could be even more surprised tonight, but Antonio did have an uncanny knack for catching him off guard every time.



Antonio emerged in a floor-length, sparkling, emerald-green dress with corset-style cutouts all the way from his chest to his navel and on his thighs all the way up to his hipbones. His thigh-high boots and gloves almost up to his shoulders also had corset cutouts along their entire length. The look was completed with graceful dangling earrings, a matching necklace that nestled between his breasts, and long, wavy black hair that one of Antonio’s gloved hands was pressed into.



“It’ll take too long to attach this wig properly, so just pretend I’m not holding it in place.”



“Antonio, I…” Stacee fought for words as his brain short-circuited for at least the third time that night. “Would you like to come to the red carpet with me like that?”



"Would it be too flashy? I thought we were trying to avoid drawing excessive attention to you, so I was planning on wearing a suit," but Antonio was clearly preening again, letting his ass cant backwards even more thanks to how the heels shifted his weight. Those heels!



“True. Everyone would ignore the actual movie stars and would be lining up to beg you to step on them instead. But they’d have to get in line behind me. And I’m never giving up my spot.”



Antonio giggled, a gloved hand coming up over his mouth. It was a shame he had already washed off that deep red lipstick, but then again, seeing Antonio’s bare face in these clothes filled Stacee with a different kind of thrill. “You really want to be stepped on? With these? The heels are actually very pointy – they call them stilettos for a reason.”



“We’ll figure it out. I trust you not to give me any actual puncture wounds. Though I wouldn’t be opposed to you impaling me in a different way while wearing that outfit.”



“Oh really?” Antonio’s voice went low and velvety, which might have potentially sparked Stacee’s interest in another round, if he hadn’t cut himself off in a yawn.



“Sounds like it’s time for bed first, though.” Stacee couldn’t help laughing through a yawn of his own, the exhaustion and exhilaration of the day catching up with him. “I look forward to your next fashion show.”



Stacee had no idea why he was so nervous.



It wasn’t like he even had to perform the song during this red-carpet premiere. All he had to do was pose and look pretty for some photos, answer some softball questions, then sit in a dark theater for two hours.



“Stop fussing with your tie. It looks perfect already,” Antonio scolded him gently from where he sat next to him in the backseat of the chauffeured car. Indeed, the flamboyant, wide silk tie – ascot really – did look perfect, because Antonio had tied it into a photogenic knot that looked like it came straight out of a fashion catalogue.



Antonio himself had gone with the suit after all, a safe choice that still managed to impress and stand out, as it was in a satiny green so dark it was almost black and slim cut to show off his figure. The leaves to Stacee’s rose, Antonio had joked.



“Sorry, sorry. I just… Please don’t let me say anything stupid on camera.”



“Relax. We already practiced all the possible questions they could throw at you.”



“Yes, yes. My collaboration process went smoothly, I’m thrilled for this old song to have found new life, blah blah. And if anyone strays from the script and tries to ask about last year…”



“You’ll just say you’re happy that’s all behind you and that you’re excited for future opportunities.” Antonio reached into his lap to squeeze his hand.



“Right. Okay. Practice makes perfect, right?”



“It does. Being prepared actually helps, I’ve found.”



Stacee closed his eyes and took a deep breath, centering himself. Antonio was right. They had prepared for this. It was going to be fine.



“It might also help to have a little treat to look forward to afterwards,” Antonio continued, his tone going a bit coy. He opened his blazer and pulled his shirt out from where it had been neatly tucked, lifting it to reveal to Stacee a satiny strap lined with lace that arched over the angle of his hipbone.



Stacee gaped at him even as the corners of his mouth lifted. “When did you get so kinky?”



“I blame you. I have a matching top too, of course,” and Antonio tucked his shirt back in before unbuttoning the top two buttons to reveal a hint of dainty straps crossing from his shoulders to his chest. Just enough to tantalize Stacee and dissipate his nerves entirely before he quickly buttoned his shirt all the way up again as if nothing had ever happened.



And just like that, Stacee’s mild dread was replaced by feeling like he was suddenly looking forward to tonight. Tonight wasn’t a test for him to pass – it was a celebration of all that he had accomplished this past year through his own hard work and the support of those who loved him.



This time, Stacee was ready for the spotlight that had burned him so badly in the past, because this time his heart was anchored in the generous and rock-solid foundation that Antonio’s love had helped him build.



“Looks like we’re here. Ready?”



“Let’s do this!”